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Conversations Dads Should Have But Often Don’t

Fatherhood isn't just a phase; it's an evolving role with numerous layers and dimensions. As fathers, you set the bar for what your children come to expect from the world and themselves. Your words and actions guide them, serving as the yardstick against which they measure their worth and understand their environment. Yet, there are conversations many fathers steer clear of, avoiding the choppy waters of taboo subjects. But these conversations are essential. They not only deepen your relationship with your children but also provide them with the wisdom and tools they'll need to navigate life's complexities. Emotional Vulnerability The word 'vulnerability' is often seen as antithetical to strength and confidence. Yet, true leadership involves showing your human side. Opening up about your fears, concerns, and life experiences makes you…

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Dipping into my reserve of patience

I mentioned yesterday that Emmett was not doing well in school. I was caught off guard because I thought he was doing great, and academically he is. Unfortunately, he's struggling emotionally and didn't want to tell me because he was afraid I'd be disappointed. Last night I emailed his school guidance counselor and explained what was going on. She emailed back this morning and said that they were going to process Elliott and Emmett's transfer request together. I also heard back from Dr. Pattie, the boy's therapist. She is forwarding the letter today. I hope we can get this all done before the end of the week. I don't want this floating out there for too long, and the boys need to get started on their new routine. This was…

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I got a break for the first time since September

It's been a couple days and I wanted to share something before I crash for the night. This will be brief because I'm exhausted and I'll try to follow up later. The other day, I called Lizze to find out if they'd been locked down for at least 14 days. They had been and so I suggested making arrangements for the boys to go over for a few days. It's been since September and that's really hard on her and the kids. We had decided to shut visits down until COVID was under control. That's the only reason she hasn't seen them. Since the insurrection at the Capitol Building and the current threats for this coming week, as well as how much worse COVID is getting, I thought we should…

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Can you guess why it’s so hard for me to sleep?

I've been talking about how tough it's been to sleep at night when Emmett is dealing with separation anxiety. The last few days he's been doing really well in regards to sleeping in his own bed. Last night was a bit of a struggle. He ultimately made it into his own bed but he had to fall asleep in my room first. If you ask him why he needs to sleep in my room, he'll say something along the lines of he feels more comfortable. Sometimes it's because he has a string of nightmares that really upset him. Yet on other occasions, he's said that he's afraid that if he's not glued to me at night, he's going to wake up in the morning and I'll have left in the…

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Fingers crossed that I sleep tonight

You know what? It's actually been a pretty good day. Obviously, it wasn't perfect or stress free but I don't think those days even exist. I feel like we made some progress around the house and for the most part, the kids got along with each other. I'm always grateful for that and it helps to maintain a positive tone for the day. It's amazing how something so simple can change the demeanor in the house. I didn't get a whole lot of work done but I've written twice and that hasn't happened in forever. That's big for me and it's progress. This week I need to focus on finishing up episode 39 and before Wednesday. That should be relatively easy, assuming the boys let me have the time needed…

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It’s 2:40 am and I’m too stressed to sleep

It's been a rough day in our house. My tank is pretty much on empty and the kids have been such a handful lately. I'm exhausted and coming up short in the patience department. Currently, it's almost 3am and I still can't fall asleep because it's been such a stressful day. I can't seem to shut my brain off. The kids have been at each other's throats all day. Emmett and Gavin were fighting and I was done with it. I sent them downstairs to call their mom and have her help them resolve whatever they were fighting over. It didn't end well and made things infinitely worse but Lizze did what she could from a distance. The kids needed a physical intervention and that of course, can't be done…

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That’s what makes you awesome

I don't know if you're new here or not but in case you are, you should know that I see a therapist every Wednesday. I feel like it's important to share that because there's too much stigma surrounding therapy. My therapist is awesome and she's helping me to deal with everything I've been through.  I feel like I'm doing okay. I've moved on from my marriage ending and I no longer carry that pain around. Therapy has really helped with that. Unfortunately, some things can't be learned in therapy and are only learned through life experience. I've not written like this in a long time but I just feel like I need to dig down and put my thoughts into words. There's a lot of stress associated with being an…

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