“I don’t care about anyone”

Gavin admitted in therapy tonight that he doesn’t care about anyone. This wasn’t a huge shock to us but I never expected for him to be able to articulate that.

He told us that he wishes he could care,  he just doesn’t.

We told him that we were proud of him for being honest with us.  We also made it very clear that this doesn’t make him a bad person, it’s just part of who he is. It does mean that we will have to work very hard to try and help him learn respect other people’s feelings.

No one knows quite what to make of this.

Having said that,  it does fall in line with his diagnosis and what everyone has said.

He also admitted to being inappropriate with both his brothers, “once or twice”. This is a problem but we couldn’t get anymore information from him.

Dr. Patti told him that if she finds out that he does anything like that again, she would call the police.  I told him that we would do the same thing.

When the conversation was over,  he went and played with the train tracks, like nothing had happened.

We meet with wraparound in the morning to discuss things related to funding and support services. I think it’s more important now than ever to get him into treatment,  ASAP.

This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung’s Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct hate me.

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Rob Gorski

Full time, work from home single Dad to my 3 amazing boys. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)
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ChrisCrane

I think the more you can learn from other parents,would be good,anything ,that would,and will lead to placement would be good,for his and your other kids sake, they have enough to deal with,and Gavin whatever he thinks of himself, can not be helped if he does terrible things ,I have known kids who were sexually abused and then did things with other kids ,It blurred the lines ,Am I the abused or am I they abuser . Do not want that  for Gavin , the boys, or Lizze and you . Protect all from Gavin,and Gavin from himself,even if you have to be in different homes until placement. Thoughts and Prayers go with , Gloria

lostandtired

@ChrisCrane thanks. I agree. Hopefully we'll begin the process in the morning.

Batty

You are all in my prayers and thoughts!  I really feel for our kids when this comes out because they are made to feel they are defective.  Hard to hear a child say this and know that it is true.  
Just found out that the psychiatrist is taking my younger daughter off seraquel  She has been on it for over a year–it's all that keeps her from having aural and visual hallucinations, but the residential facility she is in wants her off all drugs by the time they discharge her next year.  Not sure how wise this is!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Rob & Lizzie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} <–multiple hugs!
Karen

lostandtired

@Batty Gavin is on clozapine. It's the end of the road antipsychotic. Gavin CANNOT be off of his meds, at least at home. I wish you the very best of luck and please keep me posted.

Batty

 @lostandtired  She has been on Risperdol, abilify, prozac, paxal, and any number of other medications.  She has periods of SIBs, hearing voices that tell her to die, tossing herself around and saying ghosts are doing it to her, telling tales of being molested by me (which I never did), and various other prevarications that have gotten me into a world of trouble until they finally decided that she is "an unreliable reporter" and so now I don't have to worry so much about being arrested.  She has gone through periods where she takes on animalist traits (using the kitty litter box, etc) and others where she injures our animals.  We have had to ban her from being alone with any of the animals.  Our poor chinchilla quacks every time she sees my daughter and has bald spots from where the girl has pulled out chunks of the wee animal's fur.  I hope my daughter can stay on an even keel now and not abuse any other animals!

Tinky

@Batty @lostandtired why would you have animals that your daughter could abuse? I am sure she is not in control but why should they be victimized? I appreciate that pets are wonderful for a family it not when they are being terrorized.

KathyKohlBuehler

Well, that's that then, I told you he won't care about your sadness when he has to leave. My adopted girl enjoyed hurting me, and nothing bugged her more than no reaction AT ALL from me, as if I didn't hear her rants and nastiness.  Sure had to cry alot locked in the bathroom tho, but any interaction just gave her fuel for the next time.  How I wish she had had residential care available to her, and me.  The one week she was at "Safe Haven" was beautiful for the rest of us, but you can imagine how pleasant she was upon her return.  People found her "so charming"–until they didn't, and she turned on her real charms, more like evil spells on them.  A very highly regarded therapist told me I would never, ever succeed in "helping her become better", as the equipment just was not there.  Twas a blow to my ego, but truer words were never spoken. Love your boy, of course, but please, please, don't be so hard on yourselves. Peace to you.

Carlyoung

 @lostandtired Lost_and_Tired Speaking with experience, I know how hard it was for you to hear him say that.  We tell Marc everyday how much we want him to be a part of the family and that we love him.  He knows that his placement is coming up and that he will leave home at that time to go live in the residential facility.  It is scary to think of having someone in the house who has no feelings for anyone.  Thinking of you and your family, Rob.
 
Carl

lostandtired

@Carlyoung @Lost_and_Tired that about sums it up. Thanks Carl 🙁

Mary Franzen Costell

Good luck tomorrow. It had to be hard to hear him speak those words.

lostandtired

@Mary Franzen Costello thank you.