I spoke with Lizze’s mom this afternoon because I wanted to be sure that we all stayed on the same page. This is extremely important with a child like Gavin.
If we don’t, there is likely to be gaps in communication that can turn into something that was completely avoidable.
According to grandma, he’s doing pretty well there and hasn’t had any significant problems. I’m not super sure what exactly went down with the whole hospital thing and stuff he was saying or asking about.
At this point, I’m gonna chalk that up to miscommunication I think.
However, there is a problem and that involves how Gavin is treating Elliott at school.
At no point did we ever tell Gavin that he wasn’t allowed to talk to his brother Elliott, while at school. In fact, we specifically told him that he was allowed to say hi and things like that.
Gavin however, has basically erased Elliott from existence. He won’t even knowledge Elliott’s presence.
Everyday this week, Elliott has come home crying because Gavin will not speak to him. Elliott says that he sits down next to Gavin at breakfast and tries to talk to his big brother and spend time with him but Gavin just ignores him.
Elliott told me today, that he even makes sure that Gavin is done chewing his food before he tries talking to him. Nonetheless, Gavin still ignores him.
Lizze’s mom was telling me that she had asked Gavin if he sees Elliott at school and he said something about seeing him when they were waiting to be picked up and that’s it.
Elliott’s little heart is breaking because he absolutely worships Gavin and now he’s essentially being shunned.
Lizze’s parents are going to speak with Gavin about this because they found his answers regarding this a bit strange as well.
My heart breaks for Elliott because he’s feeling abandoned and unloved.
I told him today that Gavin is going through a really hard time and that he loves us all the best he can. It might seem different than how we love him back but it’s the best he can do.
I told him that we want him to get help so that he can come back home and live with us.
This however, was not enough to stop the tears from falling on the way home from school today.
I’m very interested to find out what Lizze’s parents find out when they talking to Gavin about Elliott.
This just isn’t getting any easier….
I used to just keep reminding my kids that their sib's brain does not work the same. Its not a bad thing just a different thing. I think I have pretty well adjusted kids, considering that one is in a group home and that one had promised to kill another one while he slept… scary days, glad they are behind us, the boys all get along well now and no mention of offing one another. 🙂
I know the feeling of being abandoned all too well. Tell Elliot that there's people here who think he's a wonderful little guy who's very strong too. Hang in there guys.
That must be so hard for Elliot 🙁 I know my youngest son (who has autism) really LOVES his big brother and just thinks the world of him. So I can imagine how sad he must feel about being ignored. I hope this isn't a permanent thing.
@Melisssssa Thank you. I didn't think it would be that tough on him. 🙁