I feel like I’m losing my son all over again.

Gavin informed me this morning that he would be gone for most of the day. Apparently, there’s a major battle going on in Sonic land and he will be fighting at Sonic’s side all day.

I didn’t get  many specifics because he was in a hurry to go help his visibly challenged friends.

All I could think to tell him is that I wanted him to be  careful and I didn’t want him to get hurt. Before I could even finish what I was saying, he was off to war.

To Gavin, this is very real and to me, this is very concerning. 

In my writing, I have stopped using the word imaginary to describe these things because I think it conveys the wrong message.  This isn’t his imagination and these aren’t imaginary friends.  This is a form of schizophrenia and he literally sees and hears these things. 

I feel like I’m losing him again and it breaks my heart.

We lost Gavin once already when he suddenly regressed around the age of 3 or 4. He woke up a different person than the one we put to bed the night before.  It was devastating..

It took a great deal of time to come to terms with that.  Over the years, we’ve adjusted to the Gavin that is and said goodbye to the Gavin that was. 



I checked on Gavin a few minutes ago.  I’m not sure what happened to the battle but when I spoke with him, he was playing poker with Sonic and Manic. Yep, there’s a new visibly challenged friend. His name is Manic and apparently he’s in one of the Sonic cartoons. 


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About Rob Gorski

Father to 3 with Autism and husband to my best friend. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)


  • Jennifer Lynch Âû says:

    Oh do I relate with this one. 🙁
    Sent pm