I know this may seem stupid and petty but it bothers me nonetheless. I’m sharing this in the hopes that there’s someone out there who sits up while reading this and can relate.
As time has gone on since my wife left, I stopped wearing my wedding band. I don’t think I’ve worn it in almost 9 months.
When I go out with the kids, especially on the weekend, people make the assumption that I’m visiting with my kids, rather than my kids live with me and we’re just going out to do something.
How do I know these assumptions are being made? I know this because people have actually approached me over the last year to say something about the kids and say something like it must be Daddy’s weekend with the kids.
These comments aren’t mean spirited in nature and I understand why the assumption is made.
I’m in a less common situation in the sense that I think most times the Dad isn’t the one raising the kids alone, unless the Mother has passed away.
People just assume that I’m visiting with my kids on the weekend because I’m not wearing a wedding ring and we’re out together. That’s all I can figure.
Maybe it’s just those few people who have said something and again, they weren’t malicious in nature.
I just hadn’t thought about that until these occurrences and now I feel like everyone is thinking that I only visit with my kids or I’m a part time Dad.
The reason I think it bothers me is because I don’t even know how to be a part time Dad. I’m in the trenches every day and wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Fatherhood is something I take very seriously.
I also get that everyone’s situation is different and maybe that’s what some Dad are best suited for but that’s not me and I hate that people even think that.
Like I said, I know it’s stupid but it’s something that’s been eating away at me over the last year and I just thought I would share a little bit of what I’m feeling when it comes to this whole divorce stuff.
Guys aren’t best known for their sharing of feelings and when it comes to divorce, I don’t know the statistics but I’ve always had the impression that the husbands were often the cause of the divorce.
I guess I want to illustrate that it’s not always that way and sometimes the husband is the one blindsided.
Maybe there’s other guys out there that thought they were the only ones going through something like this. Maybe there are other guys left putting the pieces back together and raising the kids alone after the wife/Mother walks away.
Either way, I hope at minimum, I can show how the roles can sometimes be reversed and the Dad’s can find themselves in a position, more typically thought of to be the Mother’s.
It’s really is a strange place to find oneself because most people who can relate to what I’m going through are the Mom’s left putting the pieces back together and raising the kids alone.
I feel a strong kinship with all the single Mom’s out there kicking ass everyday. It would just be nice to hear from the Dad’s who are in the same boat.
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