Divorce: I need to clear a few things up

I’m really, really tired and so please forgive any typos you may come across.

I wanted to take a few minutes and make a statement about something that’s been brought to my attention. 

A number of my readers have been reaching out via comments, email or social media out of concern. 

It seems that they have been reading things that the boys Mother is saying in regards to me.  I understand that there may be others involved in this as well.

Here’s the deal….

Look, I absolutely appreciate the concern.  I truly do. It’s nice to know that people care enough to be concerned. 

I have no access to any of these things because I’ve been banned or blocked.  I’m pretty sure it the same for my family as well because I would have heard about it from them as well.

The truth is, I don’t care. 

I don’t care what may or may not be said by her or her friends/family.  I just don’t and neither should you. 

It’s simply not worth it. 

I actually spoke to her about this today and explained what people are saying.  I also told her the same thing I said above.  I don’t care what’s said about me. 

She asked me to point out that while it may seem like she’s talking about me, she’s not. Personally, I’m not sure how far that scooter will carry her but again, I don’t care. 

image

If I cared what people thought about me, I would have closed up shop after my first batch of hate mail, during my early writing days.  lol

Everyone chooses his or her own path in life. 

I’ve chosen to handle things the way I am and I stand firmly behind my approach.  It’s not always easy but I feel it’s the right thing to do. 

I have no control over someone else’s words or actions. 

All I can control is how I carry myself and the example I set for my kids. I’m also trying to be an example for other people going through something similar. 

So the bottom line is this.

Just ignore whatever you read because that’s what I do.  I can’t focus on moving forward if I cling to things like this.. I know it’s frustrating to read but it’s just not worth it. 

I’m not angry or upset because I know who I am and what I have and haven’t done.  That’s all that matters…

This site is managed almost exclusively from my Samsung Galaxy Note 5. Please forgive any typos as auto-correct HATES me. 😉

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Rob Gorski

Full time, work from home single Dad to my 3 amazing boys. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)
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Alyssa Rogers Williams

I just now saw this post and appreciate your clarification on the issue. And you’re spot on….people’s perceptions are honestly based on what they themselves are reading from what the writers/bloggers are presenting. And I personally think you show incredible restraint in your careful choice of verbiage when explaining something that has of necessity to include the other party. That’s just factually unreciprocated.

You know, all readers have to construct a scenario on what to interpret and glean from the writings, blogs and comments. I have been one of the readers to read Lost and Tired, all of Lizze’s old blogs (which is when I first realized, whoah, mentally ill alert), your new reborn blog and her new writings and public postings. I was sent that recent info by someone else and I apologize that my vitriolic reaction caused any trouble, but please take her denials with huge grains of salt. I don’t know either of you but I’ve seen the screenshots. But I told the fellow reader, even before I read this that you probably would not even want to know and to also leave me out of it. Your blog should remain focused on it’s intent, not become a war zone about transgressions. But Rob, face it, you have a ton of followers that really, really thought her actions despicable and thus form a sort of #teamrob that understandably doesn’t want to see you lied to or taken advantage of when you are taking great pains to stay on that high road.

But you’ve made it crystal clear you don’t want to know and I respect that, we are all different. I’m a type A knowledge is-always-better type rather the than ignorance is bliss type. But I’m glad you made your position clear.

Rob Gorski

Shoot me an email when you get a second please… I appreciate it…

Alyssa Rogers Williams

Rob, just saw this in my Disqus notifications, not on much. My email is temporarily just GONE, noticed not receiving from 3:26am the 14th (have small business account with AT&T. Ive been traveling non-stop w/daughter back to back weekends for her tennis, Houston, Austin and these last days a National in Overland Park, KS, finally a chance to play catch up tonight. I have a backup, please feel free to email me there until whatever madness gets fixed:

Jimmy Rock

Not an attack here, just a question: what was the point of you talking to her about it if you honestly don’t care what she’s saying?

I have no idea what the subject matter is, but there might be very good reasons to care about it, whether because you think it might negatively affect the boys in some way, etc.

For your readers who either know you, your ex-wife, or the subject matter of what’s going on here, your position on this might be a little easier to grasp. But not having that knowledge, I’m just going to say some thing that I think I’ve said before: you seem so determined to take the “high road” with all aspects of your divorce. Just don’t discount the possibility that the high road, as you perceive it to be, might not necessarily also be what’s it in the best interests of your kids. As always, best of luck to you navigating through these very tricky waters…

Jimmy Rock

Fair enough. I suppose you’re always going to have somewhat of a problem there because the most basic facts regarding your split, the facts that can be seen by any casual observer–simply don’t paint her in a positive light. But that’s her problem. Hopefully she’ll reach a point where she’ll be more concerned with what she’s going to do with herself going forward to make herself into a responsible parent and a positive contributing influence in the healthy growth and development of your boys.

None of this is easy…hope you enjoyed your break today.

Alyssa Rogers Williams

Jimmy’s last two sentences nailed much more succinctly my point I was trying to make . 🙂

Braden

Not knowing what she did or didnt say…. you comment on your divorce all of the time and I’m sure she has friends and family that get upset at some of the things you write.

I would think you need to afford her the same luxury.

Kim Gebhardt

I have no idea what is being said about you, but you do have a tendency to ‘bash without bashing’. What I mean by that is you take many opportunities to make sure people know that she walked out. I realize that this is exactly what happened, but at some point shouldn’t it become ‘my wife and I split up’ vs ‘my wife and the mother of my children walked out’? I hope you don’t take this as me bashing you. I have very little respect for what she did and how she did it; I feel that you and boys deserved better than what you got, but sometimes the high road means letting sleeping dogs lie.

jaxlee

I see what Kim is saying and can relate at some point the back story should be something not even brought up or clarify ” split up” or “irreconcilable differences”. Then you don’t have to keep explaining saves time and energy. You put yourself in a position with followers and popularity. You now have a duty to give advice/tips on raising autism kids and coparenting with special needs children could help others. There’s always creative way to succeed out negative issue.

Rob Gorski

You’re new… Welcome.. ☺

Very well said. Very well said..

Alyssa Rogers Williams

This is well said Jaxlee, but in this particular case the true backstory is so tangibly related to what Rob’s children are going through as a result of her sole actions. So they are sort of inextricably intertwined. Paraphrasing it glosses over it. I don’t perceive Rob as ever bashing, quite the opposite. (And thanks, Rob, for being thick skinned as we total strangers play pseudo analysis with your life, lol)

Alyssa Rogers Williams

Yep. 🙁

Alyssa Rogers Williams

I just now saw this post and appreciate your clarification on the issue. And you’re spot on….people’s perceptions are honestly based on what they themselves are reading from what the writers/bloggers are presenting. And I personally think you show incredible restraint in your careful choice of verbiage when explaining something that has of necessity to include the other party. That’s just factually unreciprocated.

You know, all readers have to construct a scenario on what to interpret and glean from the writings, blogs and comments. I have been one of the readers to read Lost and Tired, all of Lizze’s old blogs (which is when I first realized, whoah, mentally ill alert), your new reborn blog and her new writings and public postings. I was sent that recent info by someone else and I apologize that my vitriolic reaction caused any trouble, but please take her denials with huge grains of salt. I don’t know either of you but I’ve seen the screenshots. But I told the fellow reader, even before I read this that you probably would not even want to know and to also leave me out of it. Your blog should remain focused on it’s intent, not become a war zone about transgressions. But Rob, face it, you have a ton of followers that really, really thought her actions despicable and thus form a sort of #teamrob that understandably doesn’t want to see you lied to or taken advantage of when you are taking great pains to stay on that high road.

But you’ve made it crystal clear you don’t want to know and I respect that, we are all different. I’m a type A knowledge is-always-better type rather the than ignorance is bliss type. But I’m glad you made your position clear.

Rob Gorski

Shoot me an email when you get a second please… I appreciate it…

Alyssa Rogers Williams

Rob, just saw this in my Disqus notifications, not on much. My email is temporarily just GONE, noticed not receiving from 3:26am the 14th (have small business account with AT&T. Ive been traveling non-stop w/daughter back to back weekends for her tennis, Houston, Austin and these last days a National in Overland Park, KS, finally a chance to play catch up tonight. I have a backup, please feel free to email me there until whatever madness gets fixed:

Jimmy Rock

Not an attack here, just a question: what was the point of you talking to her about it if you honestly don’t care what she’s saying?

I have no idea what the subject matter is, but there might be very good reasons to care about it, whether because you think it might negatively affect the boys in some way, etc.

For your readers who either know you, your ex-wife, or the subject matter of what’s going on here, your position on this might be a little easier to grasp. But not having that knowledge, I’m just going to say some thing that I think I’ve said before: you seem so determined to take the “high road” with all aspects of your divorce. Just don’t discount the possibility that the high road, as you perceive it to be, might not necessarily also be what’s it in the best interests of your kids. As always, best of luck to you navigating through these very tricky waters…

Jimmy Rock

Fair enough. I suppose you’re always going to have somewhat of a problem there because the most basic facts regarding your split, the facts that can be seen by any casual observer–simply don’t paint her in a positive light. But that’s her problem. Hopefully she’ll reach a point where she’ll be more concerned with what she’s going to do with herself going forward to make herself into a responsible parent and a positive contributing influence in the healthy growth and development of your boys.

None of this is easy…hope you enjoyed your break today.

Alyssa Rogers Williams

Jimmy’s last two sentences nailed much more succinctly my point I was trying to make . 🙂

Braden

Not knowing what she did or didnt say…. you comment on your divorce all of the time and I’m sure she has friends and family that get upset at some of the things you write.

I would think you need to afford her the same luxury.

Kim Gebhardt

I have no idea what is being said about you, but you do have a tendency to ‘bash without bashing’. What I mean by that is you take many opportunities to make sure people know that she walked out. I realize that this is exactly what happened, but at some point shouldn’t it become ‘my wife and I split up’ vs ‘my wife and the mother of my children walked out’? I hope you don’t take this as me bashing you. I have very little respect for what she did and how she did it; I feel that you and boys deserved better than what you got, but sometimes the high road means letting sleeping dogs lie.

jaxlee

I see what Kim is saying and can relate at some point the back story should be something not even brought up or clarify ” split up” or “irreconcilable differences”. Then you don’t have to keep explaining saves time and energy. You put yourself in a position with followers and popularity. You now have a duty to give advice/tips on raising autism kids and coparenting with special needs children could help others. There’s always creative way to succeed out negative issue.

Rob Gorski

You’re new… Welcome.. ☺

Very well said. Very well said..

Alyssa Rogers Williams

This is well said Jaxlee, but in this particular case the true backstory is so tangibly related to what Rob’s children are going through as a result of her sole actions. So they are sort of inextricably intertwined. Paraphrasing it glosses over it. I don’t perceive Rob as ever bashing, quite the opposite. (And thanks, Rob, for being thick skinned as we total strangers play pseudo analysis with your life, lol)

Alyssa Rogers Williams

Yep. 🙁