We have a very difficult decision to make about the education of our two little boys with #Autism



Lizze and I have been discussing something that makes me incredibly uncomfortable. While this is something I really don’t even want to think about, as parents, I don’t think we have much of a choice.

The topic of concern is whether or not the boys are in the right school.

I don’t like this conversation because the idea of even thinking about moving the boys to a new school is something that terrifies me.  At the same time however, I’ve become more and more concerned that a move may be necessary.

Let me say that I really like the staff and the school as a whole. I would recommend it to people who have kids that struggle in the public school system.



The concern for us lies in whether or not it’s still a good fit for the boys and that’s a tough question to answer.  The truth is, I don’t know what the right answer is.  I don’t know if keeping the boys where they’re at is the best move for them.  Likewise, I don’t know if moving them is in their best interests in the long run either.

Both of the boys are extremely intelligent and excel at almost everything they do academically.

One area of struggle however, is emotional development, as a result of being on the Autism Spectrum.  Autism by definition is a pervasive developmental disorder and it can impact a person in many ways.



In the case of Elliott and Emmett, it seems to manifest itself in rather extreme anxiety, serious sensory processing issues, very limited expressive language skills and an overall struggle with any form of change.
These things can interfere with their ability to learn on any given day.

It doesn’t seem to have seriously impacted their academic abilities but is that because of the accommodations or the fact that they are in classrooms, consisting most of peers with the same struggles?

Lizze keeps asking if their current educational environment will prepare them for higher education and the answer is a resounding I don’t know. 

An ever growing part of me is beginning to share the very same concern.

At the same time, I can’t even begin to image the ramifications of moving the boys to a new school environment.  I don’t have a clue what the right thing to do is.

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About Rob Gorski

Father to 3 with Autism and husband to my best friend. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)

  

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Braden
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Braden

I posted and it didn’t seem to take…..so apologize if this is a double post at some point.

What are your other options? That will help with any decision.

And don’t worry about college now..maybe with middle school you can think about a prep track if that is your end goal.

Braden
Guest
Braden

I posted and it didn’t seem to take…..so apologize if this is a double post at some point.

What are your other options? That will help with any decision.

And don’t worry about college now..maybe with middle school you can think about a prep track if that is your end goal.

Braden
Guest
Braden

I posted and it didn’t seem to take…..so apologize if this is a double post at some point.

What are your other options? That will help with any decision.

And don’t worry about college now..maybe with middle school you can think about a prep track if that is your end goal.

Kim Gebhardt
Guest
Kim Gebhardt

What other options are available to you? I know public school, of course, but is there another school that could act as an ‘in between’ for where they are now and public school? As for higher education, the school they are in is not preparing them for anything outside of that school; the homework and common core debacles are perfect examples of that, and to be honest, you are not helping in that arena either. Sitting outside of school for an hour a day where they can see your car and not pushing Elliott on the homework thing are two… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

Kim, I get to the school early for myself. I’ve said it a million times before but I like the peace and quiet. I get some writing done and just collect my thoughts before the boys come home. Secondly, Elliott does his homework. The issue was how he perceived time. This is an issue that carries over I to every aspect of his life. Homework is just one area where there’s conflict because he has to be pushed. I get what you’re saying Kim. You just have to know that it’s much easier said than done when it comes to… Read more »

Kim Gebhardt
Guest
Kim Gebhardt

I have zero doubts that what I mentioned is easier said than done. It is super easy to see what appear to be solutions when you’re on the outside looking in, but that doesn’t always mean that the solutions are feasible. That said, I know why you get to school early, but is there a way to park somewhere else where they couldn’t see you and still get your writing done? And to bring up something that you mentioned in your conversation with Jimmy, I do think that part of the boys academic success is because of the curriculum at… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

Agreed… I could park somewhere else but I like parking in the shade.

Rob Gorski
Admin

You know something, I don’t know if there’s a sorta middle ground school. There are private schools where I think the kids would do amazing but they are incredibly expensive.

I also want to clarify why the kids like to see me at the school early. It’s because it’s been my routine for years.

Like I said, I did and do it for me. They’ve just gotten used to it and don’t deal with change all that well…

Does that make sense

Kim Gebhardt
Guest
Kim Gebhardt

What other options are available to you? I know public school, of course, but is there another school that could act as an ‘in between’ for where they are now and public school? As for higher education, the school they are in is not preparing them for anything outside of that school; the homework and common core debacles are perfect examples of that, and to be honest, you are not helping in that arena either. Sitting outside of school for an hour a day where they can see your car and not pushing Elliott on the homework thing are two… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

Kim, I get to the school early for myself. I’ve said it a million times before but I like the peace and quiet. I get some writing done and just collect my thoughts before the boys come home. Secondly, Elliott does his homework. The issue was how he perceived time. This is an issue that carries over I to every aspect of his life. Homework is just one area where there’s conflict because he has to be pushed. I get what you’re saying Kim. You just have to know that it’s much easier said than done when it comes to… Read more »

Kim Gebhardt
Guest
Kim Gebhardt

I have zero doubts that what I mentioned is easier said than done. It is super easy to see what appear to be solutions when you’re on the outside looking in, but that doesn’t always mean that the solutions are feasible. That said, I know why you get to school early, but is there a way to park somewhere else where they couldn’t see you and still get your writing done? And to bring up something that you mentioned in your conversation with Jimmy, I do think that part of the boys academic success is because of the curriculum at… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

Agreed… I could park somewhere else but I like parking in the shade.

Kim Gebhardt
Guest
Kim Gebhardt

Unrelated, I have seen Braden post twice and now both posts are missing. I don’t think you deleted them but is something weird going on with the commenting system?

Rob Gorski
Admin

I never even saw them or received notifications about any comments from him. Thanks for not assuming I deleted anything cause I rarely touch any comments unless they are really, really bad.

Maybe he deleted them? I’ll double check my email and see but I assure you I haven’t touched any comments.

Rob Gorski
Admin

Someone flagged it as spam. I’ll fix it…

Rob Gorski
Admin

You know something, I don’t know if there’s a sorta middle ground school. There are private schools where I think the kids would do amazing but they are incredibly expensive.

I also want to clarify why the kids like to see me at the school early. It’s because it’s been my routine for years.

Like I said, I did and do it for me. They’ve just gotten used to it and don’t deal with change all that well…

Does that make sense

Jimmy Rock
Guest
Jimmy Rock

I understand your general concerns. I’m sure you hate when people say this kind of thing because it sometimes comes across as something people who don’t “get it” say, but a lot of parents share those types of concerns. In your case, though, what exactly are your concerns? What ideally would you be looking for in a school setting? And short of ideally, what else is realistically available and how would that improve on the situation? Or alternatively, how could you work within the existing system to make it better?

Jimmy Rock
Guest
Jimmy Rock

I understand your general concerns. I’m sure you hate when people say this kind of thing because it sometimes comes across as something people who don’t “get it” say, but a lot of parents share those types of concerns. In your case, though, what exactly are your concerns? What ideally would you be looking for in a school setting? And short of ideally, what else is realistically available and how would that improve on the situation? Or alternatively, how could you work within the existing system to make it better?

Rob Gorski
Admin

Elliott and Emmett are off the charts smart, we know that. However, how much of their success in school is because of a watered down curriculum?

Does that make sense?

Jimmy Rock
Guest
Jimmy Rock

Sure it does. I put out those questions because those are the types of things anyone has to think about when making these types of decisions. Could they go to public school with the appropriate amount of support in place, with carefully crafted IEPs? And not doubting in any way, but how you measuring their intelligence as “off the charts”? IQ? Your general observations? Standardized tests? Grades? Compared to their peers at school? More and more areas have very interesting academic programs for twice exceptional kids…Either way I do understand your concerns about a curriculum that is not challenging enough… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

That’s based off test scores, grades and personal observation. Emmett was tested last week for his ETR and was doing 5th and 8th grade work in some areas.

Jimmy Rock
Guest
Jimmy Rock

Does that mean that he’s at grade level in other areas? Or below? Whatever the case may be, it will be a bit of a challenge to find an appropriate curriculum the more disparate his academic needs are, particularly combined with the other support he may need. I go back to some of the questions I originally posed: what ideally are you looking for in a school? From there, what alternative is realistically available? Then, short of that, what can be done in the current setting to improve things? With respect to the last of these questions, what does he… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

Both Gavin and Emmett were abused in our local public school system. In Gavin’s case, it was pretty bad and if you’ve been reading since the beginning, you may remember. We were advised to file a law suit because they wouldn’t even follow the IEP and teachers didn’t even attend the meetings. We didn’t know any better back then but needless to say, that’s not an option we would ever even use in the same sentence as our kids. Emmett I believe is above grade in pretty much everything but emotionally he doesn’t match up with his academic level. Elliott… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

Both Gavin and Emmett were abused in our local public school system. In Gavin’s case, it was pretty bad and if you’ve been reading since the beginning, you may remember. We were advised to file a law suit because they wouldn’t even follow the IEP and teachers didn’t even attend the meetings. We didn’t know any better back then but needless to say, that’s not an option we would ever even use in the same sentence as our kids. Emmett I believe is above grade in pretty much everything but emotionally he doesn’t match up with his academic level. Elliott… Read more »

Braden
Guest
Braden

So what are the other options?

Rob Gorski
Admin

Sorry about that. Someone flagged your comments as spam. I had to manually approve them…

Rob Gorski
Admin

I don’t really know what options we have aside from stay where we are, move somewhere else or try to make their current school work…

Homeschooling is always an opinion but that’s more of a last resort..

Braden
Guest
Braden

I posted and it didn’t seem to take…..so apologize if this is a double post at some point.

What are your other options? That will help with any decision.

And don’t worry about college now..maybe with middle school you can think about a prep track if that is your end goal.

Braden
Guest
Braden

I posted and it didn’t seem to take…..so apologize if this is a double post at some point.

What are your other options? That will help with any decision.

And don’t worry about college now..maybe with middle school you can think about a prep track if that is your end goal.

Braden
Guest
Braden

I posted and it didn’t seem to take…..so apologize if this is a double post at some point.

What are your other options? That will help with any decision.

And don’t worry about college now..maybe with middle school you can think about a prep track if that is your end goal.

Kim Gebhardt
Guest
Kim Gebhardt

What other options are available to you? I know public school, of course, but is there another school that could act as an ‘in between’ for where they are now and public school? As for higher education, the school they are in is not preparing them for anything outside of that school; the homework and common core debacles are perfect examples of that, and to be honest, you are not helping in that arena either. Sitting outside of school for an hour a day where they can see your car and not pushing Elliott on the homework thing are two… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

Kim, I get to the school early for myself. I’ve said it a million times before but I like the peace and quiet. I get some writing done and just collect my thoughts before the boys come home. Secondly, Elliott does his homework. The issue was how he perceived time. This is an issue that carries over I to every aspect of his life. Homework is just one area where there’s conflict because he has to be pushed. I get what you’re saying Kim. You just have to know that it’s much easier said than done when it comes to… Read more »

Kim Gebhardt
Guest
Kim Gebhardt

I have zero doubts that what I mentioned is easier said than done. It is super easy to see what appear to be solutions when you’re on the outside looking in, but that doesn’t always mean that the solutions are feasible. That said, I know why you get to school early, but is there a way to park somewhere else where they couldn’t see you and still get your writing done? And to bring up something that you mentioned in your conversation with Jimmy, I do think that part of the boys academic success is because of the curriculum at… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

Agreed… I could park somewhere else but I like parking in the shade.

Rob Gorski
Admin

You know something, I don’t know if there’s a sorta middle ground school. There are private schools where I think the kids would do amazing but they are incredibly expensive.

I also want to clarify why the kids like to see me at the school early. It’s because it’s been my routine for years.

Like I said, I did and do it for me. They’ve just gotten used to it and don’t deal with change all that well…

Does that make sense

Kim Gebhardt
Guest
Kim Gebhardt

What other options are available to you? I know public school, of course, but is there another school that could act as an ‘in between’ for where they are now and public school? As for higher education, the school they are in is not preparing them for anything outside of that school; the homework and common core debacles are perfect examples of that, and to be honest, you are not helping in that arena either. Sitting outside of school for an hour a day where they can see your car and not pushing Elliott on the homework thing are two… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

Kim, I get to the school early for myself. I’ve said it a million times before but I like the peace and quiet. I get some writing done and just collect my thoughts before the boys come home. Secondly, Elliott does his homework. The issue was how he perceived time. This is an issue that carries over I to every aspect of his life. Homework is just one area where there’s conflict because he has to be pushed. I get what you’re saying Kim. You just have to know that it’s much easier said than done when it comes to… Read more »

Kim Gebhardt
Guest
Kim Gebhardt

I have zero doubts that what I mentioned is easier said than done. It is super easy to see what appear to be solutions when you’re on the outside looking in, but that doesn’t always mean that the solutions are feasible. That said, I know why you get to school early, but is there a way to park somewhere else where they couldn’t see you and still get your writing done? And to bring up something that you mentioned in your conversation with Jimmy, I do think that part of the boys academic success is because of the curriculum at… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

Agreed… I could park somewhere else but I like parking in the shade.

Kim Gebhardt
Guest
Kim Gebhardt

Unrelated, I have seen Braden post twice and now both posts are missing. I don’t think you deleted them but is something weird going on with the commenting system?

Rob Gorski
Admin

I never even saw them or received notifications about any comments from him. Thanks for not assuming I deleted anything cause I rarely touch any comments unless they are really, really bad.

Maybe he deleted them? I’ll double check my email and see but I assure you I haven’t touched any comments.

Rob Gorski
Admin

Someone flagged it as spam. I’ll fix it…

Rob Gorski
Admin

You know something, I don’t know if there’s a sorta middle ground school. There are private schools where I think the kids would do amazing but they are incredibly expensive.

I also want to clarify why the kids like to see me at the school early. It’s because it’s been my routine for years.

Like I said, I did and do it for me. They’ve just gotten used to it and don’t deal with change all that well…

Does that make sense

Jimmy Rock
Guest
Jimmy Rock

I understand your general concerns. I’m sure you hate when people say this kind of thing because it sometimes comes across as something people who don’t “get it” say, but a lot of parents share those types of concerns. In your case, though, what exactly are your concerns? What ideally would you be looking for in a school setting? And short of ideally, what else is realistically available and how would that improve on the situation? Or alternatively, how could you work within the existing system to make it better?

Jimmy Rock
Guest
Jimmy Rock

I understand your general concerns. I’m sure you hate when people say this kind of thing because it sometimes comes across as something people who don’t “get it” say, but a lot of parents share those types of concerns. In your case, though, what exactly are your concerns? What ideally would you be looking for in a school setting? And short of ideally, what else is realistically available and how would that improve on the situation? Or alternatively, how could you work within the existing system to make it better?

Rob Gorski
Admin

Elliott and Emmett are off the charts smart, we know that. However, how much of their success in school is because of a watered down curriculum?

Does that make sense?

Jimmy Rock
Guest
Jimmy Rock

Sure it does. I put out those questions because those are the types of things anyone has to think about when making these types of decisions. Could they go to public school with the appropriate amount of support in place, with carefully crafted IEPs? And not doubting in any way, but how you measuring their intelligence as “off the charts”? IQ? Your general observations? Standardized tests? Grades? Compared to their peers at school? More and more areas have very interesting academic programs for twice exceptional kids…Either way I do understand your concerns about a curriculum that is not challenging enough… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

That’s based off test scores, grades and personal observation. Emmett was tested last week for his ETR and was doing 5th and 8th grade work in some areas.

Jimmy Rock
Guest
Jimmy Rock

Does that mean that he’s at grade level in other areas? Or below? Whatever the case may be, it will be a bit of a challenge to find an appropriate curriculum the more disparate his academic needs are, particularly combined with the other support he may need. I go back to some of the questions I originally posed: what ideally are you looking for in a school? From there, what alternative is realistically available? Then, short of that, what can be done in the current setting to improve things? With respect to the last of these questions, what does he… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

Both Gavin and Emmett were abused in our local public school system. In Gavin’s case, it was pretty bad and if you’ve been reading since the beginning, you may remember. We were advised to file a law suit because they wouldn’t even follow the IEP and teachers didn’t even attend the meetings. We didn’t know any better back then but needless to say, that’s not an option we would ever even use in the same sentence as our kids. Emmett I believe is above grade in pretty much everything but emotionally he doesn’t match up with his academic level. Elliott… Read more »

Braden
Guest
Braden

From everything I have read it sounds like you have two choices (as far as where to send them)… Keep them where they are or home school.
Hopefully that is one less thing to worry about.

Jimmy Rock
Guest
Jimmy Rock

Braden’s right. So private school is out for cost reasons. (I suppose you could research potential scholarships). Public school is understandably out based on past experience. You’re not moving to another district. Home schooling I would hope isn’t a serious consideration. Outside of the obvious time constraint it would put on you and many other challenges, you would be eliminating what I imagine is virtually all of their social interaction with other kids. So you’re really left with working within the system you are currently in to make it as beneficial as possible for your boys. If I were you… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

Both Gavin and Emmett were abused in our local public school system. In Gavin’s case, it was pretty bad and if you’ve been reading since the beginning, you may remember. We were advised to file a law suit because they wouldn’t even follow the IEP and teachers didn’t even attend the meetings. We didn’t know any better back then but needless to say, that’s not an option we would ever even use in the same sentence as our kids. Emmett I believe is above grade in pretty much everything but emotionally he doesn’t match up with his academic level. Elliott… Read more »

Braden
Guest
Braden

From everything I have read it sounds like you have two choices (as far as where to send them)… Keep them where they are or home school.
Hopefully that is one less thing to worry about.

Jimmy Rock
Guest
Jimmy Rock

Braden’s right. So private school is out for cost reasons. (I suppose you could research potential scholarships). Public school is understandably out based on past experience. You’re not moving to another district. Home schooling I would hope isn’t a serious consideration. Outside of the obvious time constraint it would put on you and many other challenges, you would be eliminating what I imagine is virtually all of their social interaction with other kids. So you’re really left with working within the system you are currently in to make it as beneficial as possible for your boys. If I were you… Read more »

Braden
Guest
Braden

So what are the other options?

Rob Gorski
Admin

Sorry about that. Someone flagged your comments as spam. I had to manually approve them…

Rob Gorski
Admin

I don’t really know what options we have aside from stay where we are, move somewhere else or try to make their current school work…

Homeschooling is always an opinion but that’s more of a last resort..

Mom of three
Guest
Mom of three

I’m confused. Are they in public school now in self contained classrooms?

Rob Gorski
Admin

Neither actually. They are in a charter school for kids with Autism, ADHD and their siblings.

Rob Gorski
Admin

Neither actually. They are in a charter school for kids with Autism, ADHD and their siblings.

Mom of three
Guest
Mom of three

I’m confused. Are they in public school now in self contained classrooms?

Rob Gorski
Admin

Neither actually. They are in a charter school for kids with Autism, ADHD and their siblings.

Rob Gorski
Admin

Neither actually. They are in a charter school for kids with Autism, ADHD and their siblings.

BW26
Guest
BW26

Hey Rob…I found a website that might be helpful…http://www.greatschools.org/ohio/canton/schools/,
You can compare scores, etc. I, personally, would like to see the boys in a good public school because I think it would have more to offer them educationally, as well as music, art, and sports programs. Also, it would better prepare them for higher education. Both Elliott and Emmett are very smart and I think with the proper assistance/guidance they would do very well. Just my two cents for what it’s worth. 🙂

mindfulmom
Guest
mindfulmom

I think this is complicated. Many autism children (particularly those formerly labeled as aspergers) test well and often test above grade level in areas of interest. This doesn’t correlate with success in academia or even later job/ career success. Just because you can understand something or retain seemingly infinite amounts of factual information doesn’t mean you understand the application or can recognize the need for the application and use of knowledge/facts in real life situations. There is an entire area of psychology that studies this, with most research indicating that children with high levels of “grit” , resiliency and adaptability… Read more »

BW26
Guest
BW26

Hey Rob…I found a website that might be helpful…http://www.greatschools.org/ohio/canton/schools/,
You can compare scores, etc. I, personally, would like to see the boys in a good public school because I think it would have more to offer them educationally, as well as music, art, and sports programs. Also, it would better prepare them for higher education. Both Elliott and Emmett are very smart and I think with the proper assistance/guidance they would do very well. Just my two cents for what it’s worth. 🙂

mindfulmom
Guest
mindfulmom

I think this is complicated. Many autism children (particularly those formerly labeled as aspergers) test well and often test above grade level in areas of interest. This doesn’t correlate with success in academia or even later job/ career success. Just because you can understand something or retain seemingly infinite amounts of factual information doesn’t mean you understand the application or can recognize the need for the application and use of knowledge/facts in real life situations. There is an entire area of psychology that studies this, with most research indicating that children with high levels of “grit” , resiliency and adaptability… Read more »

Morgan Crutcher, M.S.
Guest
Morgan Crutcher, M.S.

As someone one on the autism spectrum that attended a really great public school in Ohio (Centerville HS), I would recommend keeping them where they are comfortable. Most of my learning took place outside of the classroom. When I found topics interesting I would tend to learn more about them and in turn teach my class. I hated public school, it’s too loud, there aren’t too many people and too many smells. However my education was unparalleled, and I have gone on to attain to bachelors, a masters and I’m working on my PhD. I do often look back on… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

Thank you for your insight. I actually read it to the boys therapist. Sorry it took so long to get back to you.. Life is crazy

Morgan Crutcher, M.S.
Guest
Morgan Crutcher, M.S.

As someone one on the autism spectrum that attended a really great public school in Ohio (Centerville HS), I would recommend keeping them where they are comfortable. Most of my learning took place outside of the classroom. When I found topics interesting I would tend to learn more about them and in turn teach my class. I hated public school, it’s too loud, there aren’t too many people and too many smells. However my education was unparalleled, and I have gone on to attain to bachelors, a masters and I’m working on my PhD. I do often look back on… Read more »

Morgan Crutcher, M.S.
Guest
Morgan Crutcher, M.S.

As someone one on the autism spectrum that attended a really great public school in Ohio (Centerville HS), I would recommend keeping them where they are comfortable. Most of my learning took place outside of the classroom. When I found topics interesting I would tend to learn more about them and in turn teach my class. I hated public school, it’s too loud, there aren’t too many people and too many smells. However my education was unparalleled, and I have gone on to attain to bachelors, a masters and I’m working on my PhD. I do often look back on… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

Thank you for your insight. I actually read it to the boys therapist. Sorry it took so long to get back to you.. Life is crazy

Morgan Crutcher, M.S.
Guest
Morgan Crutcher, M.S.

As someone one on the autism spectrum that attended a really great public school in Ohio (Centerville HS), I would recommend keeping them where they are comfortable. Most of my learning took place outside of the classroom. When I found topics interesting I would tend to learn more about them and in turn teach my class. I hated public school, it’s too loud, there aren’t too many people and too many smells. However my education was unparalleled, and I have gone on to attain to bachelors, a masters and I’m working on my PhD. I do often look back on… Read more »