We received some bad news – Page 2

We received some bad news


It’s a very grey area but we are going to try again. I’m just waiting for the new set of paperwork to show up. 

In the mean time, this is a huge problem. While we’re in a much better place than this time last year, we’ve not been in a better place long enough to absorb this and it left its mark. 

I’m feeling the stress from this because most of what we lost was Christmas and grocery money. I’ve been very preoccupied with this whole mess and it’s consumed more of my time and energy than I’d like to admit.  

Thankfully, we had already finished a large part of the holiday shopping but we still had to finish a few important items for the two youngest.  I was also able to get some basic grocery shopping done as well.  There’s definitely a silver lining in here and I’m clinging to for dear life. 

As for my final thoughts on this whole situation, I t sucks and it’s frustrating but it’s very much out of my hands at this point in time. 

One thing I’ve learned from being a special needs parent is I can’t control everything. Rather than dwell on the uncontrollable, I need to focus on what I can do instead.  

I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to do but I’m a creative and outside of the box thinker. I’ll figure something out.  

The whole point of this post is to provide insight but also to illustrate something I’ve been saying for a long time. Part of what makes Autism or Special Needs parenting so hard, is all the everyday things that the rest of the world has to deal with. Life doesn’t slow down and it certainly doesn’t discriminate when it deals out a really shitty hand. 

All we can do is make the best of everything and play the cards we’ve been dealt.  

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Kim Gebhardt

Count me in with the people who are confused. I understand your bank not seeing a problem because this is a PayPal issue, but what do you mean by “I know what the charges are but they were unauthorized”? Did Lizze or one of the boys purchase something by accident? In any event, this is why my PayPal is set to use a credit card with a $1000 limit. I don’t receive money from PayPal, so I don’t have it tied to a live checking account. If I ever needed to get PayPal money, I would open a bank account solely for that purpose. It is too easy for something like this to happen.

JR

I’m sorry that you’re struggling. I understand that you make posts like this so that people can get a glimpse into what that struggle is like for you, but the problem is- when the situation doesn’t make sense to outside observers, instead of understanding, you’re going to get questioning as to why you find yourself in this predicament.

You’ve gotten a number of comments here and I would have to agree that objectively speaking… how you’re explaining this doesn’t make sense. Your responses to the comments thus far haven’t really clarified anything.

So instead of your post achieving your objective, the focus is taken away from a description of your financial struggles that and instead shifted to a discussion which leaves people wondering what exactly you did to get yourself in this mess.

I only commented because it seems like there is a disconnect between you and your readers on this one. Maybe explaining things in a different way could help. But whatever is going on, I hope you can get it straightened out. The holidays are stress inducing enough as it is. Good luck.

Rob Gorski

Jimmy,

When I wrote it, I was simply intending to share what was causing me stress. That’s all. It’s not worth trying to clarify something that I don’t really understand myself. Life will move on and we’ll be putting this behind us.

Thanks for reaching out man… ☺

Sophie Wegat

When you say “unauthorized transactions” do you actually know what they were for?

Braden

This is confusing to me too…I have had my card compromised before too and while it was a pain in the neck to change cards and update auto payments, I was never ‘denied’. I always thought it was a straight forward process

Rob Gorski

I’ve never had this problem either. See my comment below for a better explanation..

Rob Gorski

I know what they were for but they were unauthorized nonetheless. The problem is that my bank doesn’t see them as unauthorized because PayPal is authorized to pull from my account. That’s fine but when a unauthorized transaction comes through PayPal and pulls by from my account like it did, the original transaction wasn’t authorized.

The bank isn’t looking at it like that. They just see that PayPal was authorized and so it was denied.

I’ve disputed it with PayPal but the bulk of the fund came out of my bank and not PayPal. It’s just the way it happened that makes it so messy.

Does that make any sense?

Braden

Seems like something is missing in the story.
Did one of the kids order something by mistake? I know my daughter ran up pay per views once to watch a movie (over and over) and I had a hell of a time with Verizon to get them to reverse the charges.

Tough for this to happen. Hope it works out for you

Mike T

Not really making sense.. if you tell Bob he can borrow your car, and Bob lets Carol drive it and crashes it, you go after Carol, not Bob. PayPal is Carol. You authorized them to withdraw. If they make unauthorized payments, you chase them for restitution.

You need to separate payment from withdrawal.

Sophie Wegat

Sorry, no it doesn’t. My interpretation is that you’ve misjudged your finances and something was taken out that has left you with no money as opposed to you being the victim of a credit card or PayPal fraud.

Kim Gebhardt

My interpretation is that either Lizze or one of the boys made a purchase (or purchases) that Rob didn’t know about and it overdrew the PayPal account.

Rob Gorski

Not even close. These were transactions that were canceled but than resubmitted a few days later. The initial charges disappeared but for some reason, we got charged again a few days later, making them unauthorized.

I don’t know what happened and I don’t have a better explanation for it and frankly, I’m sorry I even shared this in the first place..

Kim Gebhardt

Why are you sorry that you shared? Now that you have explained it better it makes a little more sense, at least to me. Your bank is likely not going to be able to help you. They are right in that PayPal is authorized to withdraw from your checking account; your problem lies with PayPal. If the initial purchase was cancelled, then they should not have withdrawn the money. My thinking is that the (second) withdrawal and cancellation probably overlapped and it is going to take a billing cycle to be credited back to your account. It won’t help you this time, but you might want to consider opening a checking account that is for nothing but PayPal transactions. Fraud via PayPal is waaaaay too easy and you really don’t want that account tied to the same one where Lizze and the boys’ ssi money goes, as that money is all that is keeping your family afloat.

Rob Gorski

I know what they were for but they were unauthorized nonetheless. The problem is that my bank doesn’t see them as unauthorized because PayPal is authorized to pull from my account. That’s fine but when a unauthorized transaction comes through PayPal and pulls by from my account like it did, the original transaction wasn’t authorized.

The bank isn’t looking at it like that. They just see that PayPal was authorized and so it was denied.

I’ve disputed it with PayPal but the bulk of the fund came out of my bank and not PayPal. It’s just the way it happened that makes it so messy.

Does that make any sense?

Sophie Wegat

So by “unauthorized” do you mean something you owe but didn’t want to pay yet?

Look we all juggle bills at times and hold off payments till money comes in, so no judgement from me, but your whole explanation makes no sense.

Rob Gorski

There’s nothing missing from the story. The bank has filed the dispute again, so we’ll see what happens.

Kim Gebhardt

I think the missing info is what the charges were, and how do you know what they were if they were unauthorized?

JR

I’m sorry that you’re struggling. I understand that you make posts like this so that people can get a glimpse into what that struggle is like for you, but the problem is- when the situation doesn’t make sense to outside observers, instead of understanding, you’re going to get questioning as to why you find yourself in this predicament.

You’ve gotten a number of comments here and I would have to agree that objectively speaking… how you’re explaining this doesn’t make sense. Your responses to the comments thus far haven’t really clarified anything.

So instead of your post achieving your objective, the focus is taken away from a description of your financial struggles that and instead shifted to a discussion which leaves people wondering what exactly you did to get yourself in this mess.

I only commented because it seems like there is a disconnect between you and your readers on this one. Maybe explaining things in a different way could help. But whatever is going on, I hope you can get it straightened out. The holidays are stress inducing enough as it is. Good luck.

Rob Gorski

Jimmy,

When I wrote it, I was simply intending to share what was causing me stress. That’s all. It’s not worth trying to clarify something that I don’t really understand myself. Life will move on and we’ll be putting this behind us.

Thanks for reaching out man… ☺

Sophie Wegat

So by “unauthorized” do you mean something you owe but didn’t want to pay yet?

Look we all juggle bills at times and hold off payments till money comes in, so no judgement from me, but your whole explanation makes no sense.

Rob Gorski

There’s nothing missing from the story. The bank has filed the dispute again, so we’ll see what happens.

Kim Gebhardt

I think the missing info is what the charges were, and how do you know what they were if they were unauthorized?

Kim Gebhardt

Count me in with the people who are confused. I understand your bank not seeing a problem because this is a PayPal issue, but what do you mean by “I know what the charges are but they were unauthorized”? Did Lizze or one of the boys purchase something by accident? In any event, this is why my PayPal is set to use a credit card with a $1000 limit. I don’t receive money from PayPal, so I don’t have it tied to a live checking account. If I ever needed to get PayPal money, I would open a bank account solely for that purpose. It is too easy for something like this to happen.

Sophie Wegat

When you say “unauthorized transactions” do you actually know what they were for?

Braden

This is confusing to me too…I have had my card compromised before too and while it was a pain in the neck to change cards and update auto payments, I was never ‘denied’. I always thought it was a straight forward process

Rob Gorski

I’ve never had this problem either. See my comment below for a better explanation..

Rob Gorski

I know what they were for but they were unauthorized nonetheless. The problem is that my bank doesn’t see them as unauthorized because PayPal is authorized to pull from my account. That’s fine but when a unauthorized transaction comes through PayPal and pulls by from my account like it did, the original transaction wasn’t authorized.

The bank isn’t looking at it like that. They just see that PayPal was authorized and so it was denied.

I’ve disputed it with PayPal but the bulk of the fund came out of my bank and not PayPal. It’s just the way it happened that makes it so messy.

Does that make any sense?

Braden

Seems like something is missing in the story.
Did one of the kids order something by mistake? I know my daughter ran up pay per views once to watch a movie (over and over) and I had a hell of a time with Verizon to get them to reverse the charges.

Tough for this to happen. Hope it works out for you

Mike T

Not really making sense.. if you tell Bob he can borrow your car, and Bob lets Carol drive it and crashes it, you go after Carol, not Bob. PayPal is Carol. You authorized them to withdraw. If they make unauthorized payments, you chase them for restitution.

You need to separate payment from withdrawal.

Sophie Wegat

Sorry, no it doesn’t. My interpretation is that you’ve misjudged your finances and something was taken out that has left you with no money as opposed to you being the victim of a credit card or PayPal fraud.

Kim Gebhardt

My interpretation is that either Lizze or one of the boys made a purchase (or purchases) that Rob didn’t know about and it overdrew the PayPal account.

Rob Gorski

Not even close. These were transactions that were canceled but than resubmitted a few days later. The initial charges disappeared but for some reason, we got charged again a few days later, making them unauthorized.

I don’t know what happened and I don’t have a better explanation for it and frankly, I’m sorry I even shared this in the first place..

Kim Gebhardt

Why are you sorry that you shared? Now that you have explained it better it makes a little more sense, at least to me. Your bank is likely not going to be able to help you. They are right in that PayPal is authorized to withdraw from your checking account; your problem lies with PayPal. If the initial purchase was cancelled, then they should not have withdrawn the money. My thinking is that the (second) withdrawal and cancellation probably overlapped and it is going to take a billing cycle to be credited back to your account. It won’t help you this time, but you might want to consider opening a checking account that is for nothing but PayPal transactions. Fraud via PayPal is waaaaay too easy and you really don’t want that account tied to the same one where Lizze and the boys’ ssi money goes, as that money is all that is keeping your family afloat.

Sophie Wegat

^^ What Kim said.

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