(Poll) Would you take your child with #Autism to a family funeral?



This is a question I’m asked with some frequency, probably because at some point, everyone has to deal with this. The question surrounds whether or not kids with Autism, should attend family funerals.

I know that may seem like an odd thing to ask, but it’s something that many of us will have to deal with at several point.

Please take a second and answer the poll below. Feel free to add your own answer, if need be.

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Kay
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Kay

I took my son to my mother’s funeral a few years ago (he was 10). He didn’t cope with it at all. As well as his own emotions to deal with, he had to deal with the emotional tension in the environment from others, and also people trying to go and talk to him – against my advice. This had the effect of leaving me twice as drained, too.

I wouldn’t ever take him to another one and wouldn’t even expect him to attend mine.

Kay.

Rob Gorski
Guest

That’s been my experience as well. I totally get it..

Kay
Guest
Kay

I took my son to my mother’s funeral a few years ago (he was 10). He didn’t cope with it at all. As well as his own emotions to deal with, he had to deal with the emotional tension in the environment from others, and also people trying to go and talk to him – against my advice. This had the effect of leaving me twice as drained, too.

I wouldn’t ever take him to another one and wouldn’t even expect him to attend mine.

Kay.

Rob Gorski
Guest

That’s been my experience as well. I totally get it..

Kay
Guest
Kay

I took my son to my mother’s funeral a few years ago (he was 10). He didn’t cope with it at all. As well as his own emotions to deal with, he had to deal with the emotional tension in the environment from others, and also people trying to go and talk to him – against my advice. This had the effect of leaving me twice as drained, too.

I wouldn’t ever take him to another one and wouldn’t even expect him to attend mine.

Kay.

Rob Gorski
Guest

That’s been my experience as well. I totally get it..

Kay
Guest
Kay

I took my son to my mother’s funeral a few years ago (he was 10). He didn’t cope with it at all. As well as his own emotions to deal with, he had to deal with the emotional tension in the environment from others, and also people trying to go and talk to him – against my advice. This had the effect of leaving me twice as drained, too.

I wouldn’t ever take him to another one and wouldn’t even expect him to attend mine.

Kay.

Rob Gorski
Guest

That’s been my experience as well. I totally get it..

Kay
Guest
Kay

I took my son to my mother’s funeral a few years ago (he was 10). He didn’t cope with it at all. As well as his own emotions to deal with, he had to deal with the emotional tension in the environment from others, and also people trying to go and talk to him – against my advice. This had the effect of leaving me twice as drained, too.

I wouldn’t ever take him to another one and wouldn’t even expect him to attend mine.

Kay.

Rob Gorski
Guest

That’s been my experience as well. I totally get it..

Kay
Guest
Kay

I took my son to my mother’s funeral a few years ago (he was 10). He didn’t cope with it at all. As well as his own emotions to deal with, he had to deal with the emotional tension in the environment from others, and also people trying to go and talk to him – against my advice. This had the effect of leaving me twice as drained, too.

I wouldn’t ever take him to another one and wouldn’t even expect him to attend mine.

Kay.

Rob Gorski
Guest

That’s been my experience as well. I totally get it..

Kay
Guest
Kay

I took my son to my mother’s funeral a few years ago (he was 10). He didn’t cope with it at all. As well as his own emotions to deal with, he had to deal with the emotional tension in the environment from others, and also people trying to go and talk to him – against my advice. This had the effect of leaving me twice as drained, too.

I wouldn’t ever take him to another one and wouldn’t even expect him to attend mine.

Kay.

Rob Gorski
Guest

That’s been my experience as well. I totally get it..

Kay
Guest
Kay

I took my son to my mother’s funeral a few years ago (he was 10). He didn’t cope with it at all. As well as his own emotions to deal with, he had to deal with the emotional tension in the environment from others, and also people trying to go and talk to him – against my advice. This had the effect of leaving me twice as drained, too.

I wouldn’t ever take him to another one and wouldn’t even expect him to attend mine.

Kay.

Rob Gorski
Guest

That’s been my experience as well. I totally get it..

Rob Gorski
Guest

Let me say that I think whether or not a child with Autism should go to a funeral, is entirely based on the child. Generally speaking, kids with Autism do not do well in emotionally charged situations. Not only do they struggle with their own emotions, but they also experience everyone else’s as well. Our experience in taking our kids to a funeral has not been positive, and so we avoid it because it’s in their best interest. Gavin’s the only one who’s experienced the loss of a grandparent, and it was during the custody battle with his abusive biological… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Guest

Let me say that I think whether or not a child with Autism should go to a funeral, is entirely based on the child. Generally speaking, kids with Autism do not do well in emotionally charged situations. Not only do they struggle with their own emotions, but they also experience everyone else’s as well. Our experience in taking our kids to a funeral has not been positive, and so we avoid it because it’s in their best interest. Gavin’s the only one who’s experienced the loss of a grandparent, and it was during the custody battle with his abusive biological… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Guest

Let me say that I think whether or not a child with Autism should go to a funeral, is entirely based on the child. Generally speaking, kids with Autism do not do well in emotionally charged situations. Not only do they struggle with their own emotions, but they also experience everyone else’s as well. Our experience in taking our kids to a funeral has not been positive, and so we avoid it because it’s in their best interest. Gavin’s the only one who’s experienced the loss of a grandparent, and it was during the custody battle with his abusive biological… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Guest

Let me say that I think whether or not a child with Autism should go to a funeral, is entirely based on the child. Generally speaking, kids with Autism do not do well in emotionally charged situations. Not only do they struggle with their own emotions, but they also experience everyone else’s as well. Our experience in taking our kids to a funeral has not been positive, and so we avoid it because it’s in their best interest. Gavin’s the only one who’s experienced the loss of a grandparent, and it was during the custody battle with his abusive biological… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Guest

Let me say that I think whether or not a child with Autism should go to a funeral, is entirely based on the child. Generally speaking, kids with Autism do not do well in emotionally charged situations. Not only do they struggle with their own emotions, but they also experience everyone else’s as well. Our experience in taking our kids to a funeral has not been positive, and so we avoid it because it’s in their best interest. Gavin’s the only one who’s experienced the loss of a grandparent, and it was during the custody battle with his abusive biological… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Guest

Let me say that I think whether or not a child with Autism should go to a funeral, is entirely based on the child. Generally speaking, kids with Autism do not do well in emotionally charged situations. Not only do they struggle with their own emotions, but they also experience everyone else’s as well. Our experience in taking our kids to a funeral has not been positive, and so we avoid it because it’s in their best interest. Gavin’s the only one who’s experienced the loss of a grandparent, and it was during the custody battle with his abusive biological… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Guest

Let me say that I think whether or not a child with Autism should go to a funeral, is entirely based on the child. Generally speaking, kids with Autism do not do well in emotionally charged situations. Not only do they struggle with their own emotions, but they also experience everyone else’s as well. Our experience in taking our kids to a funeral has not been positive, and so we avoid it because it’s in their best interest. Gavin’s the only one who’s experienced the loss of a grandparent, and it was during the custody battle with his abusive biological… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Guest

Let me say that I think whether or not a child with Autism should go to a funeral, is entirely based on the child. Generally speaking, kids with Autism do not do well in emotionally charged situations. Not only do they struggle with their own emotions, but they also experience everyone else’s as well. Our experience in taking our kids to a funeral has not been positive, and so we avoid it because it’s in their best interest. Gavin’s the only one who’s experienced the loss of a grandparent, and it was during the custody battle with his abusive biological… Read more »

Jennifer Spence Mill-Irving
Guest
Jennifer Spence Mill-Irving

The boys are 12, and we took them to my father’s funeral in November. We gave them the full day’s worth of medication, and they were under strict orders to not cause a scene. And a friend of mine and a friend of my step-mother’s each took a child to watch them. If it wasn’t my father and it was someone who wasn’t so close, I probably would have done differently. But we were adamant that they have a chance to say goodbye to their grandfather. Plus, this is something they’ll have to do as they get older, so we… Read more »

Jennifer Spence Mill-Irving
Guest
Jennifer Spence Mill-Irving

The boys are 12, and we took them to my father’s funeral in November. We gave them the full day’s worth of medication, and they were under strict orders to not cause a scene. And a friend of mine and a friend of my step-mother’s each took a child to watch them. If it wasn’t my father and it was someone who wasn’t so close, I probably would have done differently. But we were adamant that they have a chance to say goodbye to their grandfather. Plus, this is something they’ll have to do as they get older, so we… Read more »

Laura
Guest
Laura

I took my then 8 yr old to my grandmothers funeral. He coped admirably, and I think it was more positive than leaving him out. He could learn what was happening, and My grandmother would have been upset to have him excluded, he is a part of the family, and however he needed to express his feelings that day was OK with everyone who mattered. It might not work for everyone, but, it was the best choice for us.