I couldn't sleep last night. I was trying to recover pictures off a bad hard drive for a customer. Then I was thinking about what I was doing at that time 4 years ago. I was in the delivery room waiting along with my wife for Elliott Richard's arrival. We had no idea the what we were in for. When it finally happened I was beside myself. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. I lost complete control over my emotions and sobbed like a baby. Words can't do the experience justice. In that moment my entire life was forever changed. I have made several movies to document our experience in the nicu and I watched them all last night while everyone was sleeping. Seeing him in…

Lizze and I had a conversation today about Emmett John that we both have been putting off. Over the past few months we have been very focused on his hearing and speech issues. We realized we have overlooked some things. Emmett John smells everything, he has started with a few repetitive motions, he doesn't talk (probably hearing related) and throws himself on the floor. He is also hitting himself in the head. Now these could mean nothing but this is how Gavin started. These are some of the things we missed early on with Gavin. Emmett John is still very engaging and actively seeks out attention which is good. We have been pretty tunnel visioned lately and missed some of these things. His doctor had already requested that he be…

So we have been trying to plan Elliott Richards birthday party. We gave up on trying to get everyone there cause it will never happen. So we picked a date and time that worked best for us and decided on this Friday at noon. Gavin is off school Friday. Originally we were going to try to have it while he was at school because he doesn't do well with parties but we will just make do. We are going to try to have something else later for those that couldn't make it. But most likely people could just come over and wish him a happy birthday when their schedules allow. I feel bad cause not many people were able to make it friday but Elliott will have a good time…

It appears that Gavin may be getting more manic if that makes sense. This morning it appears as though the voices may be coming back. It's little things right now like "I thought you told me to do....." When we haven't even said a word or weren't even in the same room. This is how it usually begins. Eventually it will get to the point of full blown psychosis. He will play cards with people that aren't there while having full fledged conversations back and forth with them also. When he was younger we would find him standing in our room at night "watching us sleep". It gets really creepy and honestly dangerous because we don't always know what the voices tell him to do. We installed an alarm on…

It appears that Gavin may be getting more manic if that makes sense. This morning it appears as though the voices may be coming back. It's little things right now like "I thought you told me to do....." When we haven't even said a word or weren't even in the same room. This is how it usually begins. Eventually it will get to the point of full blown psychosis. He will play cards with people that aren't there while having full fledged conversations back and forth with them also. When he was younger we would find him standing in our room at night "watching us sleep". It gets really creepy and honestly dangerous because we don't always know what the voices tell him to do. We installed an alarm on…

So its been a few days since my last post. Elliott Richard's birthday is Thursday. I can't believe its been 4 years. It feels like it was just yesterday that I would fall asleep next to Lizze at night with my arm around her and my hand on her belly. He would kick my hand all night long. I remember Lizze going on bedrest and having very, very serious complications. She spent weeks in the hospital. I remember when she developed a DVT in her leg. It was really bad because they could not find the clot and her leg had swelled up to twice the normal size. They could do very little to help her without the risk of hurting Elliott Richard. Up to that point in my life…

It has already begun. Gavin had a meltdown because we caught him trying to pull one over on us. He wanted to go to the attic and get some toys under the guise of "giving it to Elliott for his birthday". I told him no for right now. He wanted to get the toys for himself and not for Elliott. Sometime I can read him like a book. I told him I know what he was trying to do and it wasn't a good choice. So he lost it because he knew he was busted. Then the "fun" began. He started smacking himself in the face and jumping up and down. This is all for show and we know that. He is choosing to do this and could stop at…

Gavin has slept most of the day like we knew he would. Zyprexa (sp?) has a sedative effect on him. What really crazy is that if you or I took that amount of this med we would be out for a very long time. Gavin just gets sleepy when its adjusted and that's it. His body handles meds a lot different then most. He metabolizes them very quickly. That is one reason stabilizing him medically is so tough. It should be a relatively quiet weekend. Elliott Richard turns 4 years old next week. I can't believe it has been 4 years already. Got to start thinking about dinner. Lost and Tired Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®