I was completely unprepared my #Autistic son’s heartbreaking emotional reaction

One of the biggest challenges my wife and I have faced as Autism parents is something that thankfully, doesn't present itself very often. When it does, however, it's very difficult to navigate. That challenge has to do with the death of a family member. Thankfully, that doesn't occur very often, but it's something that we all have to face throughout our lives. Before we get into our current situation, I want to provide a bit of background and context. We've lost two grandparents in the last eight months, and for the first time, we allowed the kids to participate in the process. We've always shielded them from these things because of their limited ability to cope with emotional situations. It doesn't get more emotional than the loss of a loved…

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Heartbreaking: We do what we must for those that we love

I'm way behind on this update, but life has been getting in the way of writing. That said, what better time than the present to get everyone caught up. This particular update is in regards to Gavin and Wednesday night therapy. I had mentioned that he was chomping at the bit to update us on the missions he's been on recently. I also said that my enthusiasm for those updates was a bit lacking because it's a lot to take in, and it's a reminder of just how much he struggles with reality. It's important to me that I be supportive of him, but at the same time, I can't feed into his delusions. It's a very blurry line on the best of days, and it's not easy at all…

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The reason my youngest is distressed is heartbreaking for me

There are times when I can distance myself from my feelings, focus on facts and remain objective. There are also times like tonight when I can't and emotions rule the roost. I've mentioned recently that Emmett, my youngest of three Autistic boys, is struggling lately. He's been the focus of recent family therapy sessions. Emmett is overwhelmed, frustrated and having a hard time coping with whatever's eating away at him. He's very reactionary, slow to open up and quick to anger. We've been trying to help him work through whatever this is but it's not going so well and he doesn't like to talk about it. I know that there are a few things bothering him and consuming his resources on a daily basis. There's probably more than that but…

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Writing with tear filled eyes

Gavin's having a very rough day. On a good day, he's not running on all cylinders but anymore, it seems like his engine is barely turning over. He's not problem-solving anything lately. I have a really good example of this and it took place yesterday around lunchtime. While Gavin was making his lunch, he stopped, walked into the living room and asked if he could have a chicken patty for lunch. The answer of course was yes. He came back a minute later to ask how long he should put it in the air fryer for. He wanted it in there for 15 minutes, which is way, way too long. He should know the answer to this because he's done it plenty of times. I asked him why he didn't…

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It’s been an incredibly long and heartbreaking day

I'm going to keep this super quick because I'm exhausted and if I can get the kids to fall asleep, I'm going straight to bed. It's been a really long day, full of tears and heartache. Yesterday I shared about a very difficult decision we might be having to make in regards to Zane, one of the boys service ferrets. You can check this link for the background. We took Zane back to the vet this morning and our worst fears were realized. Zane's back legs were now almost completely paralyzed and it was progressing quickly. He was much worse off this morning, then he was the night before. The vet explained that there were three possibilities. Unfortunately, all three possibilities involved tumors and none of them resulted in a…

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It’s crushing to hear your child say they feel dead inside

We had a pretty rough evening with Elliott. I don't talk about this a great deal but he's seriously struggling and it's absolutely breaking my heart. He has very little control over his emotions and seems to cycle through the full gamut in a very short period of time. I think at the very least, we're looking at serious depression. He's on antidepressants but they don't seem to be helping much. He's in individual therapy as well and he finally gets into Akron Children's behavioral health clinic in a few days. I want so desperately to help him and in order to do that, we need to get help. During tonight's episode, he told us that he feels dead inside. He's also told that he doesn't feel loved or taken…

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Emotionally absorbing another heartbreaking struggle, it must be Monday

As with every Monday and Friday for so many years now, Gavin needed his IVIG infusion this morning. Once again, Gavin put the supplies together in order to receive what essentially amounts to an antibody transfusion. This is only necessary because his body is unable to produce the necessary immunoglobulins needed to fight off infection. In other words, his immune system is severely compromised. This morning was no different than all of his more recent IVIG infusions. He struggled to put things together properly. He's been struggling to draw up the medication, without wasting a good amount of it and spent a large amount of time freaking out over the entire process. He's been struggling more as time goes by. There was an interruption in his infusions for two and…

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