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  1. #1
    Administrator Array The Autism Dad's Avatar
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    RAD is so heartbreaking

    My oldest son Gavin has reactive attachment disorder. Aside from my good friend Carl Young, I don't really know anyone else that's dealing with the hell caused when someone you love has RAD.

    I can't begin to explain the amount of guilt that I feel for having to send my son to live with his grandparents.
    Even though it's the right thing to do and best for all involved, it still feels wrong and like I've somehow failed him.

    He's very happy where he is and he's well cared for. That makes it easier to live with. Knowing all the things that he's done to my wife (his mother) makes me angry. The things he's done to his younger brothers upsets me greatly as well.

    It's so hard to process all of this.

    As his father, I love him no matter what. It's not his fault he is the way he is. It's not like he chose this path, it chose him.

    Regardless, he is responsible for his actions and those actions that done indescribable damage to our family.

    It's such a horrible situation....... :(



    Posted via the My Autism Help app.

  2. #2
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    My oldest child has RAD, is also on the specturm "moderatly", adhd, ptsd, anxiety, sensory issues and Rule out bipolar. there are more days then not that I have to choose to love my child (i know that sounds bad....but love is a choice and when you are physically attacked, your home, marriage, other kids are all damaged on purpose, sometimes you have to choose to love your child).

    my not quite 7 yr old has hurt the now almost 3 yr old (she tried several times to kill--and then says "Mommy i'm sorry I tried to 'died' sissy") people dont understand this. they think (and say out loud) that I am a bad mom. that I should give my oldest up to the state and walk away from her. that if my child really attacks me call the police on my child. my husband often thinks I am exaggerating (and thus need medication myself) i've lost i can't tell you how many friends because they think im off my rocker to not trust my child....

    I'm just at a loss. not sure what to do...where to turn...but know i will be "understood" here

  3. #3
    Administrator Array The Autism Dad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VP's Mom View Post
    My oldest child has RAD, is also on the specturm "moderatly", adhd, ptsd, anxiety, sensory issues and Rule out bipolar. there are more days then not that I have to choose to love my child (i know that sounds bad....but love is a choice and when you are physically attacked, your home, marriage, other kids are all damaged on purpose, sometimes you have to choose to love your child).

    my not quite 7 yr old has hurt the now almost 3 yr old (she tried several times to kill--and then says "Mommy i'm sorry I tried to 'died' sissy") people dont understand this. they think (and say out loud) that I am a bad mom. that I should give my oldest up to the state and walk away from her. that if my child really attacks me call the police on my child. my husband often thinks I am exaggerating (and thus need medication myself) i've lost i can't tell you how many friends because they think im off my rocker to not trust my child....

    I'm just at a loss. not sure what to do...where to turn...but know i will be "understood" here
    Coming from the perspective of a husband, I can say that it's very hard to see the behavior when I'm not the target. I struggle with this every day because I don't want to believe that son is capable of these things. Unfortunately, I know all too well what he's capable of and I choose to support my wife but it's not always easy. RAD sucks and not many people actually understand and we to have lost family and friends.

    Hang in there and keep coming back to share your story, we're all here to help. :-)

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