How an #Autism family decides what’s best for their kids on the holidays

I thought I would share how Lizze and I have decided to handle Thanksgiving this year. There are many things that influenced our decisions but our number one priority is focusing on the kids. We are also paying attention to comfort levels because not everyone has fully accepted Lizze back into the family and we don't want to make anything more awkward than it needs to be. The biggest factor in our decision making process though, was Gavin. We need to limit his level of excitement, as per doctors orders. Having said all that, we will be going to dinner at my parents house. Most of my siblings will be at their significant others for dinner but will be stopping by for dessert. This will give us a chance to…

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A major realization at marriage counseling

As mentioned previously, Lizze and I had our third session of marriage counseling yesterday. The boys hung out with their grandparents while we were there. The main topic of this appointment slowly became Gavin. Lizze and I are really struggling with Gavin lately and not for the reasons you might suspect. We're struggling with things from a mortality perspective. I don't talk about this very much because the more I talk about it the more real it becomes. The truth is, we don't know how long Gavin has on this Earth. His health is continuously worsening and new problems keep popping up. Some of the health issues are beyond rare and so no one knows for sure what to expect. What I know for sure is that his speech is…

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Why I’m excited about marriage counseling 

We just dropped the boys off at their Grandparents and are now on our way to marriage counseling. Today's session will be our third and I'm excited.   I think that when most people hear that someone's in marriage counseling and assume that the couple going is in some kind of relationship trouble. Perhaps that's true for some but not for Lizze and I. Marriage is tough and the divorce rate is so high anymore.  When you factor in being a blended family, kids with Autism and fragile health, things get a whole lot more difficult. Lizze and I sorta lost ourselves about two years ago. It took thirteen years for it to happen but we've learned from the past and are moving forward once again.. Together, we both realize…

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A rough morning but we worked it out

I woke up this morning not feeling well at all. Lizze got the boys ready for school, which wasn't easy. Emmett barely made it to school because he wasn't tolerating anything on his feet again. We tried everything to help including brushing, pressure and joint manipulation. Nothing worked. We were lucky that Emmett's desire to be at school, outweighed his intolerance for his foot covers today. It took the better part of an hour to work through this but the point is that we worked through it. I'm hoping to see more of this in the future. I took the boys to school and Emmett seemed to get off to a good start. After that, I slept until after noon. When I woke up, I felt much better and I'm…

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Should I be worried or proud?

Gavin and I were playing Minecraft tonight before he went to bed and this was the conversation we had about his latest mission today. This mission debriefing was a little concerning and a bit on the creepy side. Perhaps not listening to this with the kids in the room would be a better idea this time. The context of this mission involved someone in Gavin's world being murdered. Gavin was outraged by this act of violence and took it upon himself to return the favor as he put it. I don't know how to feel about this because the fact that he would want to murder someone, even in his world, is concerning. I worry about his thought process there but at the same time, when you hear what he ended up doing…

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How my son totally impressed me today

After picking Elliott up from school today, Gavin and I took him with us to the grocery store.   Elliott totally surprised me with how well behaved he was, so kudos to him. Gavin on the other hand, did something for the very first time.  We haven't been grocery shopping for a little while so today was a big trip. After bagging everything, one cart became two carts worth of groceries.   Considering I'm only one person, I had to rely on Gavin to push one of the carts out to the car.  I'm always very careful with things like this because Gavin has almost zero awareness of his surroundings and I don't want anyone getting hurt and I can't afford to have him break anything either.   Granted it…

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Why #sensory issues kept my son home from school today

Emmett woke up this morning and was so sensory sensitive, he barely tolerated his pants and shirt.   He was able to wear his clothes for the most part but when it came to shoes and socks, there simply wasn't any wiggle room.  Emmett loves school and doesn't want to stay home but at the same time, he's so overwhelmed by his sensory processing issues that he couldn't even compose himself.   Unfortunately, we had to take Elliott to school and we were already running late.  Lizze and I decided that with an inch of snow on the ground, that it was too cold (27°F) for him to wear his flip-flops to school.  We offered to have him just wear his slippers to school and then bring his flip flops…

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Heartbreak: A conversation with my schizophrenic child

Gavin suffers from a disorder known as Schizoaffective disorder. This is kind of a blend between bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. We see way more schizophrenic symptoms than we do bipolar anymore. Gavin has been in a state of psychosis for many months now and shows no signs of pulling out of it. The other night, Gavin and I were playing Minecraft together on the Xbox, as we do on most nights before he goes to bed. It's something he really enjoys and I can use the game to help teach him things that are harder to teach in real life. It's just become one of our things.  While we were playing the other night, Gavin decided to share what had happened back at base. When I say back at base, it refers to…

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