This week has absolutely taken its toll

First things first. Calling hours were really nice, at least as far as calling hours go. Lizze's family did a beautiful job and while it was sad, it was a positive experience, filled with a lifetime of memories. If I told you Lizze was okay, that wouldn't be true, but in time she will be. The boys are really struggling. They're dealing with all of this in a different way. They aren't crying or expressing emotion in that regard. What they are doing is absorbing all the emotion around them and become so overwhelmed, they don't know what to do. They're having a hard time sleeping and they're very easily frustrated. We're seeing an increase in meltdowns and fighting. As much as we try to shield them from our emotions,…

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I’m so overwhelmed and this is just an emotional purge

Today is a total fucking mess. Lizze found something to wear but I needed to go find something at the store. I spent three hours trying to find a goddamn pair of pants and a shirt. I've lost 40 pounds but it's still frustrating trying to find pants or clothes in general. I finally found the big and tall section but it was super tiny and not very helpful. I found a sweater and a pair of pants but I was so frazzled at end that I'm about to lose my fucking mind. As I was getting dressed and ready to leave for calling hours, I noticed the pants are frayed in the knee. I need to take them back and swap them out for another pair that doesn't have…

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Dealing with the unplanned when you’re an #Autism parent

This week is just not going as planned. Truthfully, none of this was planned and how could it be? What I'm referring to is our plans to deal with the unplanned events of this week.. Our goal has been to get the kids back to school but they're missing their second day today. No one is in a very good place and everyone is on emotional overload, with the only exception being Gavin. Frankly, I'm glad he's not going through what the rest of us are. Every single day of is life is hard for him and if even can escape things from time to time because he just doesn't process things like grief, more power to him. He doesn't need anymore challenges in his life. Lizze and I are…

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Can I just go back to bed, it’s already a shitty day

It's been a long, restless night. Elliott was awake until well after 1 am, while Emmett woke up with nightmares at some point and climbed into bed with us. Both the boys are not feeling well either at this point. They know their great grandmother went into the hospital last night but they haven't heard from us that she's passed. I think they suspect this though, hence the not sleeping, nightmares and feeling sick. Maybe we should have just been upfront and honest with them about the whole thing? When we knew what the outcome was going to be, it was very late and we just wanted to get the kids home to off to bed. I don't know. Lizze and I barely slept. My head is pounding and Lizze…

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Please send your thoughts and prayers

On Tuesday evening, Lizze's grandmother passed away tonight. This was very sudden and it's been a difficult evening for everyone. 😔 If you could please send you thoughts and prayers to Lizze and her family, they could really use it. We haven't figured out what we're going to tell the boys yet but I think we're going to wait until after school. They have some fun activities planned and will be wearing their Halloween costumes to school. We want them to have that and we'll figure out what to tell them while their gone. I hate writing these posts but I also know that we could use the thoughts and prayers during this very difficult time. Thank you all so much, I really appreciate it.

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Managing #anxiety and #panicattacks can be extremely challenging

It's been a pretty decent day thus far. I didn't sleep very well last night but I took a short nap this morning and feel much better. The boys got off to school without any trouble and Lizze had her first of two doctors appointments. There was about a 30 minute break between appointments and they were on opposite ends of town. Her last appointment went well but on the way home, she was hit with a panic attack. Lizze has always battled anxiety and panic attacks are par for the course. Rather than go straight home and likely get worse, we opted instead to hit the park, go for a walk and take pictures of Fall. Lizze was getting really nauseous and I figured that a physical outlet might…

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