Read more about the article Do you ever feel like an awful parent?
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Do you ever feel like an awful parent?

It's been one of those days where I feel like the shittiest parent in the world. I know that part of this is depression talking but another part of it is just how I feel. I'm having a difficult time managing everything right now and I just can't seem to keep up. The kids are all on edge. Actually, Gavin's doing pretty well. Elliott and Emmett are on edge. They're over COVID and all that goes along with it. I can't say as I blame them. I mean, who among us isn't over all this shit at this point. I know I am. Elliott had technical issues with remote learning today and was unable to hear anything for part of the day. That creates a great deal of frustration for…

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January 27, 2021
Read more about the article Fantastic news
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Fantastic news

In the spirit of trying to get back into writing more, I wanted to share some positive news tonight. First and foremost, the best thing that happened today is that Gavin's IVIG Infusion went well. I think that he will probably feel little more confident on Monday and perhaps he'll be able to get through his infusion a bit easier. Great job Gavin. In other Gavin news, his birthday present that wasn't supposed to arrive until next month, showed up today. He was super excited and now he only has one more item currently in shipping. It's something for him to look forward to. Elliott and Emmett are both caught up and current in regards to school. That's so amazing and I'm so proud of them. I know how difficult…

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January 22, 2021
Read more about the article We escaped for a little while today
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We escaped for a little while today

The kids had a mixed bag kind of day because life is just getting to be a bit much lately. I got the kids to school and we made it through the school day. I mean, it's remote learning so we didn't have to go very far but it can still be a challenge. Everyone is current on their school work and that's awesome. I'm so proud of my guys. There was a good bit of fighting today because, as I said, they're just done with everything going on around us. They tested my patience and I'm not afraid to say that. After Elliott finished up class, I decided to take them for a short hike. We were only out for about an hour and didn't run into any another…

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January 11, 2021
Read more about the article The ups and downs of 2020
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The ups and downs of 2020

We're going to have a quiet evening tonight as we ring in the new year. We have no plans for anything other than maybe watching some movies and spending time together. I ordered dinner for us and it should be dropped off shortly. It's one of those days that I'm really struggling to keep my head above water. I'm frustrated. I'm overwhelmed. I'm spent. I feel like this is quite possibly the loneliest I've ever been in my life. I've mentioned before that I'm a sentimental person and this is one of those times where I feel the loss of my marriage. It's just one of those things and I struggle a bit on these days. As time passes these moments won't be so impactful and I'll make new memories.…

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January 1, 2021
Read more about the article How I’m choosing to handle parenting during and after my divorce
Divorce / Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

How I’m choosing to handle parenting during and after my divorce

If you're new to this blog, you should know that I use this a sort of a personal journal. Many times, I'm writing about things that I'm experiencing in real time and you go through that process with me. This is one of those times. I woke up this morning and I'm finding myself very easily annoyed. Gavin is definitely pushing my buttons, whether he means to or not. For the record, I don't think he does. His brothers aren't too far behind either. I've been on edge and irritated today and I wasn't sure why until I started writing about this. I remember why and since the kids are already aware, I feel comfortable talking about it. This week, I meet with Lizze and my attorney. We will be…

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December 28, 2020
Read more about the article It was crazy but we ended on a positive note
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It was crazy but we ended on a positive note

Yesterday was pretty crazy. I began the process of defusing the Christmas anxiety by allowing the boys to slowly begin opening presents. Their anxiety is through the roof for a number of reasons and Christmas isn't helping. I told them I want a clean house for Christmas and as we make progress, they can pick out one present to open. The house needs caught up, and it gives them a physical outlet doing something productive. By Christmas Eve, we should be done with presents and the kids will be less stressed. I usually do early present opening anyway because of their anxiety and my own self-preservation. This is just a little different but the circumstances are rather extreme and I will do whatever helps us get through all this intact.…

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December 21, 2020
Read more about the article Avoiding conflict by encouraging my kids to communicate with each other
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Avoiding conflict by encouraging my kids to communicate with each other

I spent a large part of today breaking up fights between the kids. They seem to be at each other's throats. I was just recording a speech for an upcoming summit yesterday and I mentioned something about this. I was pointing out that not everything I'm dealing with in my house is related to autism, at least not directly. There's a large portion of the daily challenge that's autism related but there's other portions that are simply typical kid behavior. The boys fighting is something that brothers do. That's pretty normal for brothers to fight and I totally get that having 3 brothers of my own. Autism tends to make things a bit more intense because of triggers and a difficulty reading body language. This is especially true when it…

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December 16, 2020
Read more about the article Just one of the unique challenges that #specialneeds parents face
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Just one of the unique challenges that #specialneeds parents face

Gavin had a little mini emergency tonight. He had us worried for a little while but seems to be fine now. In the middle of dinner, he got a really bad migraine, I gave him Motrin and told him to go lay down. It's really hard to tell what's going on with him because he is unable to answer any questions that could help me know how to better help him. I asked him if light or sound makes his pain worse and couldn't answer that. I asked him to be more specific about where the pain is and he couldn't really do that either. This was taken pre-covid Lizze was brought in via phone to help because she lives with migraines on the daily and she might have more…

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December 14, 2020