As the years have past by me, I have learned to *hate* the holidays. This is coming from someone that loved the holidays until recently.
I know *hate* is a strong word but so is my distain for the holidays anymore.
How many of you out there going through the same thing every holiday? You do everything possible to limit excitement so that your kids don't get *overstimulated, anxious *and than *meltdown*.
Every year my wife and I avoid gatherings like you would have during the times of the plague. We have tried new traditions that *don't* involve leaving the house, loud noises, bright lights or crowds of people. It honestly takes a great deal of time and energy to pull something like this off.
For example, we basically skipped Easter this year. Gavin was just in the hospital for an emergency psychiatric evaluation and simply isn't stable enough to survive a fun and festive holiday.
If Gavin gets anymore *unstable*, which would likely occur if he experienced everything that is the Easter holiday, the entire *Lost and Tired *family could pay a very high price. That price could involve things from *huge* meltdowns, other physical outbursts, screaming or be as bad as another psychotic break that ends up with him being admitted to the psychiatric unit once again.
That's just Gavin.
Emmett and Elliott also get overstimulated, anxious and subsequently meltdown as well. While their meltdowns are nowhere close to the violent volcanic eruptions that are Gavin’s meltdowns, they are disruptive and exhausting in their own right.
The holidays no longer bring me that warm, fuzzy feeling of days gone by. Instead, I feel a sense of dread as well as this stabbing pain in the very pit of my stomach.
As we get closer and closer to a holiday, the anticipation builds and the kids get more and more anxious.
Thank God we don't have satellite or cable because they would be bombarded with commercials, only making things worse.
I miss the days when I could enjoy the holidays. I miss being able to spend time with family and friends. Having said that, I don't miss it enough to put my kids through what they would have to go through, in order to pull off something like that. Not to mention, that I simply don't have the energy or patience to cope with the fallout that will most certainly ensue and likely last for days.
As much as I would love to just shout *screw you* to each and every holiday, at the top of my lungs, instead I continue to try and let the boys experience at least a part of the holidays. They deserve to be kids while they can.
***Thanks for reading***
* -Lost and Tired*
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Posted from WordPress for Android so please forgive any typos as auto-correct and I don't see eye to eye. :-)
