There are so many things that can be frustrating and/or overwhelming when it comes to being an Autism/Special Needs Parent. Most of them are things that I've had to learn to either ignore or cope with in some other way. If I didn't, I'd lose my mind.
I have days where I can cope fairly well but there are also days that I seriously struggle.
On any given day, one of the hardest things for me to cope with is incessant talking. I'm fully aware that many parents have never heard their child talk and I have some experience in that arena with Emmett. My heart goes out to them. I'm not intending to be insensitive to that and I'm incredibly grateful that my kids are verbal.
The reality I live in with Gavin is such that he talks and talks and talks and talks. It's incessant and it wears me down. That's just the reality.
Gavin does this in a few different ways but the two I struggle with most are when he talks about his tablet games and when he compulsively verbalizes every thought that pops into his head.
It's like Gavin's gets stuck on a loop and he will repeatedly tell me the same information about whatever tablet game he's currently playing. I don't think he even realizes what he's doing because it feels to me like *he thinks he's tell me these things for the first time, everytime he tells me. *
The only thing I can do in order to preserve my sanity and not eventually get so worn out that I lose my cool, is tune him out. I've gotten pretty good at this and Gavin hasn't a clue he's being ignored. He just goes on talking and talking.
What I struggle with the most however, is when Gavin compulsively tells me *everything that enters his mind. *It's hard to describe but it's like his brain is talking or verbalizing his internal dialog. It's kinda weird and it's very overwhelming because it doesn't matter what I'm doing, if it's an appropriate time or if it's appropriate period, I'm going to hear about it regardless.
You'd think that hearing his random thoughts would be a nice reprieve from the repetitive talking about his tablet games but it's just as overwhelming.
It's only noon and I've already hit my limit in regards to Gavin's talking.
Describing this is very difficult because it doesn't sound like it would be a big deal but I assure you it takes a heavy toll. Anyone that spends any time with Gavin will tell you that his talking is exhausting. It's exhausting for people who hang out with him for a few hours, imagine how exhausting it is for those of us who are with him 24/7.
I'm not feeling incredibly capable of coping with this stuff today and he's already driving me crazy as a result.
It's so hard to be patient with him and the guilt I feel when I'm not weighs heavy.
Rather than continue to be bombarded with things that are going to push me over the edge, I'm going to remove myself from the equation and practice a little self-care by going walking. I would be walking anyway but going now rather than later, helps put me in a better place to deal with the things that are causing me distress now.
For the record, we've tried tons of things with Gavin to help him with the incessant talking. He won't talk into a mirror, his camera or a microphone. He won't talk to his stuffed animals or himself. He has to feel like he has your attention, even if he really doesn't.
Like I said, it's exhausting.
