I wanted to devote an entire post to talking about how Gavin's doing. I haven't really updated in a little while because it's been pretty much status quo. That's not a bad thing but unfortunately, it can't last forever.
Gavin is officially off the Clozapine and seems to be withdraw free. That's a very good thing. He needed an extra step in the weaning process and that seems to have eliminated the negative symptoms from a week ago.
The issue now is that Gavin is unmedicated and not easy to cope with. It is however, what I knew would happen but I didn't feel I had much of a choice. I thought I would share some of my observations in regards to changes in his behavior.
The only way I can think to describe Gavin's current behavior is manic. He appears to me manic. His energy level is elevated and he's pretty scattered. He's incessantly talking and it's more so than normal. He just will not stop talking and while I'm grateful he has a voice, hearing anyone's voice constantly is difficult to deal with.
I'm in my room, with noise canceling headphones on and I can still hear him talking. He doesn't seem to have an inside voice right now and it carries throughout the entire house.
I figured I would be seeing some of this but it's a little more intense than I had thought. It could be because I have fewer resources with which to cope with as well. Who the hell knows..
What I am seeing that concerns me is a return of the involuntary movements in his face. Maybe that's to be expected but I need to check with his doctor to make sure it's not something me need to deal with. He's not aware he's doing it but he's bearing his teeth and twitching his whole face. This is something he's been dealing with for many years but it had subsided in recent years, until now.
There is a medication he can take to counter the movements and he was on it for a long time. He's not on it anymore because he didn't need it. I'll have to ask about getting him back on.
Outside of these things, running more missions and being more easily confused, as well as agitated, he's doing good. There's no aggression. He's not jumping out his window because he thinks he can fly and to the best of my knowledge, his universe is staying contained to his bedroom and isn't spilling over into the *real world. *
That may sound dramatic and far fetched but I assure you, he has a history of all of that and more.
I'm glad that he seems to be very happy right now and he's still wanting to help out. He's spending small amounts of time with his brothers, which is good because it means he's not so far gone that he's disconnecting from us.
All in all, I feel pretty good about this. Things could be better but they could absolutely be worse. Everyone is healthy, safe and getting whatever help I can get them.
I know we will get through this and while I don't know what life will be like on the other side of this, we'll find a way to adapt.
