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One of the biggest issues with parenting an autistic child is the effect is has on your “typical” or non-autistic children. That is something we struggle with day in and day out. Younger brothers look up to and idolize their older brother. ER is no different. While there is talk about whether or not he’s on the spectrum some where he is a typical child.

ER tries so hard to connect with Gavin but it just never really happens. ER has also begun picking up Gavin’s violent “vocabulary”. Gavin used to be obsessed with death and the killing of things. While he never did anything in real life we have plenty of hand drawn pictures. We must not be watching close enough because now ER is playing the same way. ER talks about “sucking out brains”, and killing things. While his talk is innocent in comparison to Gavin’s it’s disturbing none-the-less.

Dr. Patti is concerned because Gavin’s behaviors are “rubbing off” on to ER. She tells us that his play is not age typical and that he is mimicking his older brother. What are you supposed to do with information. It’s hard enough keeping them apart and closely monitored when they do play together. ER is becoming Gavin’s big brother. He tells Gavin not to put things into his mouth that aren’t food. He reminds Gavin to use “walking feet” and to “safely walk up the stairs”. ER is always looking out for Gavin. I worry that it’s way much for a 4 year old to worry about. We tell him that it’s our job to do those thing and not his. I don’t know what else to do.

There is suck a stark contrast between the two of them it’s almost unbelievable. ER has in many ways advanced way past Gavin in terms of emotional and social maturity. What do you do when you child becomes “The Big Little Brother”.

LT

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