Special needs parenting is tough. I have to honestly say that it’s easily the most difficult task I have ever set out to do. What I have been seeing a lot of lately is that I’m spread way to thin. I’m trying to take care of so many different things all at once that I can’t get any done right. Does that make sense? I don’t know how the single parents out there, do this. I have nothing but respect for all you. I find myself failing at a lot of things lately and I think that’s because I just can’t keep up with the demand anymore.
As Lizze’s health continues to decline I find myself trying to fill her shoes and keep up with everything else. Just as an example, right now I thinking about a thousand different things I need to get done. Each one of these things are important in their own right. I need to look after the boys (which is 3 full time jobs by itself), keep the business going as we desperately need to increase our income. I have computers that need fixed, laundry that needs done, a yard that needs mowed, a house that needs repaired, a van that is NEVER going to get fixed and I’m trying to walk a few miles each day. I also have that super secret thing I’m working on that stands to not only help my family but many others as well. I have keep the kids from fighting, find 2 new schools before August and get Lizze a second opinion. This is just off the top of my head. There are dozens and dozens more that I haven’t listed but are still weighing pretty heavy.
When everything is a priority, nothing really is. Does that make sense? My highest priority is the boys and they come before anything else. The “downside” to that is that they ALWAYS need me and that leave no time for anything else. I’m up till about 2 am every morning just trying to play catch up. The funny thing…well more like sad thing really…is I never seem to make heads or tails of anything. It’s actually really frustrating. I try to set small goals, a few loads of laundry or mowing the lawn for example. What typically happens is I get started and get pulled away and then rest of the day is spent putting out fires (figuratively of course).