In real life there are consequences

      4 Comments on In real life there are consequences

Things went down hill fairly quickly this morning. Gavin decided that it would be a good idea if he told his little anxiety prone brothers about a dream he had.  In this dream,  Gavin was attacked by a robot with spinning blades instead of hands. 

Apparently,  at some point I this dream,  the Gavin‘s hands were chopped off his arms by the spinning blades of the robot.

This was told to the boys in graphic detail.

This really freaked Elliott and Emmett out and they were pretty stressed out about it.



Elliott approached me and told me that Gavin had shared a dream with him again.  When I called Gavin down to tell Lizze and I about the dream,  he refused. This was my first inclination that things were not going to go well.

See,  the thing is,  Gavin has been told about this countless times. Dr.  Pattie has spoken to him,  as have Lizze and myself. He knows he’s not supposed to share his dreams with his brothers.  If he needs to talk about them, we are more than happy to listen.  However,  he is never to discuss them with his brothers because all it does is terrify them.

Gavin has a long history of doing things like this.  These things lead to me being up all night,  for nights on end,  with his younger brothers who are afraid to go to sleep.

I don‘t know what Gavin gets out of doing this.  It’s either that he doesn’t think or he likes to scared his little brothers.

Either way,  Gavin freaked out upon being confronted about this.  He ended up having oatmeal as a substitute for peanut butter and jelly for lunch.  He will also be having oatmeal as a substitute for whatever main course we have tonight.  One for each of his brothers.

His meltdown was pretty bad and it won’t matter what the consequences were.  It’s the fact that he’s being held accountable that upsets him.

When you ask him why he’s upset,  he says,  “I don’t want to have oatmeal and I’m mad that I’m in trouble”.  At no point is he upset about what he did to his brothers,  he never is. 

I don‘t know how you work with that.  He never seems to care about his impact on others and honestly,  that scares me. I take no pleasure in punishing him but he either never learns or simply doesn’t care.  Either way,  in real life,  there are consequences for ones actions.  If he is to ever be a productive member of society,  he needs to learn this,  and learn this sooner than later.

All we can do is hope that one day something will click and he will finally understand. 

**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

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About Rob Gorski

Father to 3 with Autism and husband to my best friend. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)

  

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Jodi p
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Jodi p

As I’ve said before I work in group homes

Could you instill a 24 hour supervision policy for Gavin

We have it for client
He can only be allowed other clients when staff are with him if one staff is on he has to follow them. If they are showering a client he is to sit at top of stairs or sit in his room which has a door alarm

It would be hard.but you can insure a trusted adult is with him all times.

Chloe R.
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Chloe R.

Try the positive reinforcement system I mentioned to you, see if it works. E-mail me or Facebook message if you want more info.
My recent post Dreams really do come true! Different… Not Less, We Need Acceptance, not just awareness!

Rob Gorski
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Everyone,

I want to share that Chloe has some really great ideas. We\’ve been chatting alot recently and her insight is an amazing resource. If you have questions, check here out in the Autism Help Forums. She\’s our newest moderator as well. Thank you Chloe, you rock.

Chloe
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Chloe