Do you feel guilty sending your kids away?

I was just wondering if you ever feel guilty sending your kids away to family or even respite,  in order to get a break?

Personally,  I feel guilty at times because I feel like I’m letting them down and that I should not need breaks.  However,  logically I know that there is nothing wrong with getting or needing a break,  even if it’s from my kids.

This came up today because we are getting Gavin out of the house for the weekend.  He’s going to Lizze’s parents tons pending some time with them.

This will give the entire house a break from the constant blanket of stress that we are under when he is here.

Personally,  I don’t feel guilty for needing a break.  However,  Lizze feels horrible about wanting or needing to send her child away,  so that she and the rest of us can finally relax. I completely understand where she’s coming from. 

I just look at it as a mutually beneficial arrangement.

Gavin will have a great time with his grandparents and we will have a calm,  relatively predictable weekend. I don’t see anything wrong with that..

Honestly, I won’t miss Gavin’s behaviors and tantrums.  I also realize that the rest of the house, including myself and the friggin dogs,  need this time to decompress.  I think this is a blessing and I simply choose to look at it that way. 

Having said that,  my heart breaks for Lizze because she is absolutely struggling with this whole Gavin thing.  Her heart is broken in a way that can never be fixed..

Back to my original question. 

Do any of you go through things like this? Of so, how to you deal with it?

**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

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This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung’s Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct is working against me.

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PurpleLogicGlitch

I used to joke that I went to work to get a break, but it is true. Everybody needs time away from each other at times. Nobody should feel guilty. It is time to clear your heads and relax so that when he returns you can once again be the patient parents that you strive to be. You are very lucky to have parents nearby that will step in and help. I sure wish I had that. But whenever I did get a break I appreciated the time, missed my baby and was happy when they returned. Even with my neuro-normal daughter I had need of an occasional break. It was always lovely to have a night off of mommy duty when she was a toddler. Yes I missed her terribly about 1 hr after she left, but I really needed a lil time for myself and that helped me be a more understanding parent to her. Sadly I did not have anyone to take my son, so stressville was and is where we live 

lostandtired

@PurpleLogicGlitch well said. 🙂

JennyPattonFury

You know, our situation is much less stressful than yours, neither of our boys have (so far) violent meltdowns, etc.  However, we have one aspy and one basically non verbal 2 1/2  yr old.  we sent our older son over night to my folks' one weekend, we came home, looked at each other, and our little one.  "Did you know he was babbling this much???"  We can never hear him over the din of our older son's constant stream of consciousness and quoting of movies.  And I agree with you- our older son was getting the undivided attention of rested people, while our baby was getting the benefit of having the attention of both parents for once.  It is win-win, and you guys NEED it!!!

lostandtired

@JennyPattonFury thank you for sharing that. Very well said. 🙂

KathyKohlBuehler

Well, you could have no breaks, and then all become even more stressed and disturbed…Said it a million times, take care of the rest of the family, because, out of necessity, Gavin takes up everybody's share of the pie, The little dudes need like in NEED some quality, stress-free time with both of you.  Remind Lizzie that her little kids need her as much, or more, than Gavin does, and then try your very best to have a great time. Remember, Gavin thinks differently, so probanly thinks he is winning this one by going to his grandparents anyway.  PLEASE, guys, don't feel badly about wanting peace and harmony!

lostandtired

@KathyKohlBuehler thank you. I greatly appreciate your advice. You're absolutely right… 🙂

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