How do you define success and can your child with #Autism be successful?



This is something that creeps up every once in awhile. Someone makes the comment that a child with #Autism can never be successful. My response is the same every single time.

I think that if someone believes that a child with #Autism can never be successful, they need to reevaluate their definition of success.

I think success is widely open to interpretation. 

Personally, I absolutely believe that any child can be successful. The problem lies in the expectations of those that are doing the judging and not the child. I think that too many people define success as money, fame and power.



I personally believe that success is defined by reaching ones potential and by getting up one more time than you fall.

By that definition, my autistic children are already a success and I make sure they know that as well as that I believe in them.

How do you define success? Based on your definition, can your child ever be successful?




 

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Does your child with Autism have feeding issues?

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About Rob Gorski

Father to 3 with Autism and husband to my best friend. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)

  

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WalterWinesberry
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WalterWinesberry

I define success as the ability to live and independent and productive life. i believe what is needed most is a better definition of autism. i have not observed autism to be a static life long condition. For my children it has been one of incremental growth in all areas. Through nutrition and detoxification we have managed to significantly remove many of the symptoms of autism over the last six years, with a child who was non verbal at three. So success to me means losing the diagnosis to start, and the ability to live and independent life.

kat13
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kat13

My definition of success is the satisfaction of the one being of what have been accomplished. If one enjoys something with all its hard, success is the accomplishment in that area.    With that I do believe in success of autistic children. Majority of them do have special talents, and for the parents like us is the goal to help them shine.    Needless to say, an incredible autistic people who changed is fairly large… I just got some books to help my daughter with the basic social skills and body language, along with that the book that I started reading with… Read more »

rmagliozzi
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rmagliozzi

 @kat13 Great point. I think socialization is way over emphasized today, unfortunatly meaning there is less opportunity for creative or technical or practical training and practice that people with autism and even neurotypical people can clearly benefit from.

JenniferWhynott
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JenniferWhynott

I definitely believe that people with Autism can be successful. Look at Ms. Temple Grandin. I like to define success by defining your passion and the goals to get ther and acheiving as many of those as possible. They may need a little more help and may never be fully independent but they can become successful in arts, animal care, music, and many other avenues. Granted my lil lady is a high functioning aspie, I have no doubt that she will do something with horses, painting, and writing. My goal for this year is to find a place for her… Read more »

AngieLuna
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AngieLuna

I think there's a different definition of success for each child.  For my oldest, it's getting all his assignments turned in on time, and keeping his diabetes under control.  For my daughter, it's improving in band and choir, and she wants to try out for track in the summer.  For Anthony, it's partly defined by his IEP, but more than that, it's the way he socializes, and understanding social cues, and knowing when to say things, and when to keep them to yourself.  Each child sets their own definition of success, and as they meet their goals, they set new… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

I think it might be dangerous to define success by independent Living. What does that say about all the people who can't live in their own but have other strengths or contributions to make.

I want my kids to happy. Independent Living is a huge positive but not a defining trait of success in my book.

I'm not critical just wanting to point that out. 🙂

Ken Brzezinski
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Ken Brzezinski

Success  for children with autism can be as small as them looking you in the eye. Giving you a hug, getting out of bed without crying. Every little victory with a child with autism should be celebrated. The child should know that you believe in their abilities. The smallest improvement needs to be acknowledged. This means when they have spent five more minutes in the store than you planned and they did not have a melt down you need to let them know you appreciate that. It is the compilation of the little victories that make a child willing to… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

 @Ken Brzezinski Well said. Well said. Nice to meet you by the way. 🙂

MeaghanGood
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MeaghanGood

 @Ken Brzezinski I've got Asperger's Syndrome and even though I'm very high-functioning, I've got a lot of challenges. I, and the people who love me, try to find small successes every day. Yesterday, my boyfriend's dad asked me to open a window which was locked, and I couldn't figure out how to unlock it and he wasn't able to give clear directions as to what to do. Finally my boyfriend stepped in and unlocked it for me. Then my boyfriend's dad congratulated me on not freaking out and hyperventilating or stimming or anything, something I tend to do when faced with… Read more »

kat13
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kat13

What I wanted to point out is that I want for my daughter to see autism not as disability, but more as the ability. 

Rob Gorski
Admin

 @kat13 Nicely said.

rmagliozzi
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rmagliozzi

For my son with autism, it means reaching his goals (personal and school) and overcoming his fears. Therapies and diet and treating his medical issues have helped him tremendously down this road. We try to stay as realistic as possible given his special needs. I believe he is successful. He couldn't play sports over two years ago due to extreme hyperactivity and sensory issues. He has now overcome those enough to play on a special olympics team multiple sports seasons. He is not ready to compete yet because of his competition anxiety, but we are okay with that. He also… Read more »

Ken Brzezinski
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Ken Brzezinski

Autism can be an ability if you work to develop the positive things you daughter can do.  God got bored with the normal people and created people with autism so that there would be diversity in the human race. Autism may never be cured but the person who has it can always become a better person.

Rob Gorski
Admin

What about those more profoundly affected by autism? If we define success by the expectation of independent living or holding down a job, what message are we sending? 
I think those things are definitely successes but they are far from the only way to be successful.
 
Thoughts?

Ken Brzezinski
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Ken Brzezinski

 @MeaghanGood  @Ken Brzezinski
 I Think you did very well. This was a success. It is something you can build on.

Marlene0657
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Marlene0657

All children can be successful, even ASD children. You just have to keep it in perspective. For my son, he's good at math but still can't read above a first grade level. He's great at sports but can't write his name. So what? He is great at what he can do. We don't judge him on what he can't do. Although, others look at him differently because he is different and gets anxious because he senses it when out in the community.

Rob Gorski
Admin

@Marlene0657 very well said. Thank you.

autti34
Guest
autti34

having autism it took long time to find what im good at .my parents look at my scuess at what i over come an can do know .from were i was .i think parents should help there child be as indapent as possbille even if it only mean they can bath an clothes themselfs it should be were the child is but rember vwhat we are dx at as a litte kid dosnt mean we will be there as an adult .some of us maybe dx as severe but once we get the right help by time done with hs… Read more »

lostandtired
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@autti34 brilliantly put. Thank you for sharing. 🙂