Confessions of a special needs Dad: I’m angry

I’m going to be very open and honest about my feelings in this post.  I’m extremely frustrated,  angry and overwhelmed right now because Gavin is making things even more complicated.

I spoke with the school today and it turns out that what Gavin was saying about falling asleep in martial arts every day wasn’t true.

The only time Gavin had an issue was yesterday. That issue was simply being tired but not sleeping.

Gavin claims that his teacher wasn’t paying attention but Gavin was standing in the very front row.  He was literally in front of his instructor and that was done so that he could keep and eye on Gavin.

I’m so angry with Gavin because we have been catching him exploiting his health issues and our concern for him, in order to get out of doing things or get attention.

He’s putting us in an incredibly difficulty position and he’s doing it on purpose. 

We spoke with Dr. Patti tonight about this and she agrees this is obviously a problem. In fact, he did it again while we were with Dr. Patti and we caught him.

I just don’t know what to do anymore. It’s becoming more and more clear that Gavin needs to end removed from the house.

I love Gavin, I really do but I’m so, so sick of this.

This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung’s Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct hate me.

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TicBot

@LeighAnneRamsey I’ve been in the room when Anne Robinson had sex with my mum.

MaryAnn47

You have every right to be angry, Rob.  Gavin's behaviors and issues are ruling your household and terrorizing his brothers.  Worse yet, he is using his medical issues to manipulate not just your family but professionals as well.  And he knows it and if I'm not mistaken, thrives on the chaos.  Once again, you and Lizze and family deserve better than to live in your own house as prisoners.  Makes me so mad.  What right does anyone, issues aside, have to threaten your safety and emotional well being and your family?  So yes, you are right to be angry and I'm so glad you are open about expressing it; it must be difficult for you to say so.  You and Lizze have done everything and more for your family and you are to be proud.  Hang in there.

lostandtired

@MaryAnn47 thank you. What's frustrating for me is that I still find it easier for me to believe that we are wrong about Gavin, even though I know we aren't. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

I have to also say that my heart goes out to my friend @carlyoung. He's in a similar position and I know his pain all to well.

autiesmama

Rob, there's a part of me that will always, ALWAYS believe that somehow I caused my son's autism, or it came from me. Just me. The research, the doctors, the other parents–none of that stuff, that real and proven stuff can change the illogical part of my motherbrain.  Heck, he's got a twin typ, so you'd think THAT would be enough, but no.
I think it is just part of that hippocampus (sp?) "ensuring survival of the offspring"  thing. No logic to it.  Nor is there any use.  And knowing that won't change my mind at all. *sigh*
regards, Leslie

MaryAnn47

 @lostandtired  Yes, I cannot begin to imagine what you and carlyoung must be going through.  Will say extra prayers for you and your family and carlyoung tonight. 

lostandtired

 @Carlyoung @Chloe123 @Mary Franzen Costello  @Dearest_Nikky @OnyxPanthyr @SarahBolier @autiesmama @dotdash 
 
Thank you everyone. I really appreciate your support. Carl, while I'm so sorry you have to place Marc, I'm so happy that it's finally happened. I understand. 

Carlyoung

 @lostandtired   I amazed at the outpouring of support that we have received from the online community about our situation with Marc.  There hasn't been as much backlash as I expected.  The comments have been largely positive and uplifting. 

lostandtired

 @Carlyoung Thanks awesome. Same here. My concern though is how some of our family may react when the time comes. Non-supportive people can make an already heartbreaking situation worse. 

Carlyoung

 @lostandtired If they don't like it, we can sure let Marc go stay at their house for a month or two so they can get a feel for him, and try to parent him, since they think that they can do such a better job… yeah, a bit angry about that.  I expect family to be supportive.  that hasn't always been the case.

lostandtired

@Carlyoung @lostandtired we've been there as well. Not fun.

SarahBolier

Stay strong! I think we all feel that way sometimes your not alone

dotdash

I'm curious about how you see the role of politicians and legislatures — is the community behind the affordable care act?

Mary Franzen Costell

@carlyoung, my thoughts for you and Marc.

Mary Franzen Costell

I'm sick of it and I don't live it. I'm also sick of systems that don't take care of our mentally ill until they hurt someone and become part of the prison system. I don't care that Gavin has complex physical as well as mental medical issues. He, and you all, deserve good care.
OK, so my family woke early and I'm a Little grumpy this morning.

Chloe123

HUGS!!!!!!! 

Carlyoung

wish that there was a magic elixer that would fix our kids.We placed Marc today.

Carlyoung

one step at a time my friend.   wish there was a magic elixer.
we placed Marc today.
 

Carlyoung

one step at a time my friend.  we placed Marc today.  it is both a relief and an incredible sad feeling.

autiesmama

Rob, what would you be if you *weren't* sick of it? Seriously. It would be bad.  All around. For you and your family–including Gavin. 
It's okay to be sick of it. And it's clear that you love your kid. The two are not mutually exclusive.
How's the residential situation looking?
Regards, Leslie

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