Today is a bittersweet for me.  It’s Gavin’s 13th Birthday and he’s not here.  This is the first time that I can ever remember not being together on his birthday.

I understand why things have to be this way but it still sucks. 

I called to wish him a Happy birthday from all of us and he was more interested in watching cartoons then talking to me on the phone. 

I make the mistake of assuming that he’s as upset at being gone as I am that it has to be this way.  The truth is, he really doesn’t care. It’s the nature of his condition and something I will probably always struggle with on some level. 

Lizze’s grandparents are throwing a birthday party for him and his friends at Pizza Hut tomorrow.  We are invited and I’m hoping that we are home from the pediatrician’s office in time to make it. 

The boys will be really disappointed if they miss this party but their flu shots are just too important to miss. 

People think that by moving Gavin out of the house, somehow everything is better.  The simple truth is, it’s not.  We are living in the aftermath of everything that happened and now we face new challenges. 

This one happens to be not being with Gavin in on his birthday for the first time. 

Happy Birthday Gavin.  We love you.