How being investigated by Child Protective Services has changed me

I’m sitting here alone in my living room because I can’t sleep.  A lot has been happening lately and quite frankly, I’ve been having a rough time dealing with it. 

At this point in time, aside from all the health related issues we face, I’m preoccupied with this whole CPS thing.

The reality is that it’s probably over, at least for the most part.  As soon as they receive the medical records in question and they can verify our story, the case will be closed. Their words, not mine. 

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Having said that, this whole experience has changed me and honestly it’s affected how I approach this blog.
There are some things that have happened that I would have shared, prior to this.  However, having been through what we’ve been through, I’m hesitant to be as honest and transparent as I have been in the past.

It’s so easy to take things out of context when all you have to go on is what you read on a blog, especially if you haven’t read the whole thing.

In the advent of someone reporting us to CPS, we now know it can happen.

If you had asked me if I thought that would ever happen, I would have been doubtful. Having said that, clearly it’s possible and I fear this happening again.

The thing with CPS is that essentially,  you’re guilty until proven innocent. Anyone and I mean anyone, can report a “concern”  and more likely than not, it will get investigated. While the CPS investigators in our case are really nice and this has gone smoothly, forth most part, that doesn’t mean it always will.

Until a case is officially closed and perhaps even after that, your life and everything you hold dear, rests in their hands. What’s more is that fact that CPS holds an enormous amount of power.

It’s a lot like touching a hot stove.  Once you’ve been burned, you exercise extra caution in the future.

The problem is that I don’t know what,  if anything, will prompt the next person to do something crazy and there really is no way to protect oneself from these spite calls. 

If I don’t share openly than its like allowing the few, to have far too much power over me and my family.

I don’t know what I’m going to do.


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booksmusicwriting71

Wow. I’m so very sorry for you and your family.  My daughter has a more severe form of autism and I have been blessed by the openness of your blog.  The journey is not always a blessing and I’m tired of sugarcoating that for those who only want to see the polished side of the journey, complete with only positive affirmations and assertions that one “wouldn’t change a thing”.   I feel blessed quite often and I’m happy to share those moments, but it takes more courage to share the moments that are not warm and fuzzy and to risk alienating those who are made uncomfortable by the truth.  It is hard, sometimes ugly and often more than one can handle.  To be punished for openly admitting that and sharing those moments in your life that are less than positive, is just a travesty.  You are in my prayers and you have my heartfelt sympathy.

pegster999

You are right in being more careful about what you write on here. Once something like this happens it is never the same.

Jana Rothmar

Again, you amaze me with how you echo my thoughts. I’ve been where you are, several times. I always wonder how they could not check the facts first before following the accusations from a bitter woman that was mad at me for wanting nothing to do with her. Even after I provided them with the info to prove the allegations were false, the initial worker on our case at the time refused to follow up.The workers that were assigned our case came to my home realized not long after that I was a good mom, who cared for her kids & was the victim of vindictiveness by not 1, but 3 people who had set out to hurt me & my kids. But as the file had been retained by the original social worker, it was a year of visits to put up with.
When my special needs son was neglected & abused to the point of needing serious medical care by another party, and protective services was called by the hospital (5 Dr’s, nurses & S.W’s were involved for the call) the file was not retained. One of my other children (who is mature for her age) witnessed what had happened & told the professionals. They said she was too young to believe.
But we stayed strong, as hard as it was, and came through. And will continue to do so whenever needed
Keep posting your blogs

thefuzzycabbage

I like that your blog is honest, open, and transparent. It’s one of the few that is. It’s reality, not some high polished, self-censored blog that cuts out all the bad stuff just for the sake of maintaining an image.

Allyson L. Genthner-Thiessen

I have been in your shoes and had to make the same decision. While it sucks, we do whatever it takes, right?

Lost and Tired

Thanks 🙂

Elizabeth Hottinger

I’m so sorry!

Dawna Chipman

My dad turned me in a few years ago when he got mad at me, they figured out quickly that it was him but the fact that he has Alzheimer’s stopped them from doing anything to him. Wasn’t hard to prove he was nuts when he was carrying a bag of rock salt around telling people he got this “crack cocaine” out of my house! The families denial of his Alzheimer’s and all the horrible, hateful things he has done have torn our family apart. Seems it is easy to report suspected issues to CPS and turn a families life upside down but getting help for a person with Alzheimer’s is impossible, even when he has been used, abused and conned.

Pilar Thompson

that is understandable. I remember getting the call of the report and I was very lucky. Three days prior I hired a new nanny and I had my house spotless compared to other times that the housework just waits. I however, knew where the report came from so I didn’t feel as violated. I think that is the worst part of being reported, you don’t know where the report came from therefore you become pretty much angry and leery of everyone

Tammy Ross

People you do not know are thinking about you & your family & wishing you strength!

JoeyCaylorSpencer

I think its perfectly natural to worry about it. Your blog was the first I came across that seemed truly honest when we started our autism journey. I don’t think with all you’ve been through with the cps investigation and increasing number of trolls on your posts if you decided to hold back more. Keeping your family in my prayers.

Brian Edwards

Understandable good sir. You guys are in my thoughts and prayers.

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