Things you should never say to an #Autism parent

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  • Post last modified:August 3, 2013

I’ve been meaning to share this with you all for awhile now. I want to start sharing all the things that I’ve had people say to me about my kids with Autism.

The point of this post is two fold. 

Some of us may get a chuckle out of these things because it’s happened to many of us before.  I also hope that those outside the community will take notice and learn what not to say to an Autism parent.

Feel free to leave your own in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you.  🙂

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Rob Gorski

Full time, work from home single Dad to my 3 amazing boys. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)
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Oh sure, that would work very well indeed on my son – that’s for sure!

Margaret Seitz

No one would know until they have experienced what parents go through.

Janine Angela Sanford

Exactly, sometimes I get the urge to pop them in the face. Good thing for self control.

Angela McDonough

I have taught my son well lol we were in a resturant and he was stimming in the booth the man be hind us said quit it retard and Cody flipped in his seat and said I AM NOT RETARDED I AM AUTISTIC WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM then said oh sorry mom i cussed the man looked at me feeling about 2 in tall and said i am sorry I said dont tell me tell him he is the one you offended and he understood you very well

Michael Henshaw

That sounds like great advice… Oh wait… Thought we were talking about how to handle people who make insensitive comments… 🙂

Robert Wm Ruedisueli

Good way to make things worse, more negative stimuli.

thefuzzycabbage

“He doesn’t look like he has autism” is one of the more prevalent responses. I also had a relative who, upon hearing of my son’s diagnosis, decided to equate my son’s autism with his daughter’s struggles with handwriting. He said, “He just has a delay. There is no autism. When my daughter was in the first grade, her handwriting was awful and we didn’t know if she was going to move to the 2nd grade. But with a little effort and practice, we had her writing in no time. Your son is the same way.” It was offensive. He trivialized autism by equating it to sloppy handwriting.
I can totally relate to the quote in your post. A lot of people are quick to jump in with the parenting advice, emphasizing the need for children to be disciplined. I don’t appreciate anyone telling me my kid needs a good butt whooping. It’s offensive. And that is really not a form of discipline most parents implement nowadays. Numerous studies have shown the adverse affects of such punishments, and I personally don’t want to instill the idea in my son that physical force is acceptable because it’s not. Scaring or causing pain are not, in my opinion, effective forms of punishment. Besides that, such punishment would never work on my son. He doesn’t understand social cues and doesn’t have the capacity to understand the concept, and he doesn’t respond to various forms of tactile sensory input like “normal” children do. He really has no concept on pain, at least that we can tell.

lostandtired

JoeyCaylorSpencer jjean3940 sheridyer2 I love it when people try to argue my kids diagnosis.  They say things like “you’re just overreacting”.

JoeyCaylorSpencer

Are you sure that’s what it is?
All kids get obsessed with things.
If its genetic why doesn’t your daughter have it?
You just tell him that’s what to eat. He will eat when he’s hungry.

jjean3940

He’ll grow out of it
ooh, ohh- Einstein didn’t talk until he was 5 years old!!
my son does those things too but he doesn’t have autism- I think it’s overdiagnosed these days
just off the top of my head

sheridyer2

He doesn’t look like he has autism.