I keep meaning to update everyone on how I’m personally doing. While I don’t want to sound like a complainer, the reality is that I have a whole lot on my plate right now and have for quite some time.
Much like the rest of the Lost and Tired clan, I have my good days and my not so good days.
Lately, the not so good days seem to outweigh the better ones. I feel like a car that’s been driven into the ground and just about run out of gas.
There’s absolutely no end in sight and the only my light at the end of this tunnel is attacked to a freight train, speeding down the tracks, hellbent on running me down.
I’m feeling spread a wee bit too thin. I’m overwhelmed, frustrated, exhausted, stressed and yes…..depressed.
I haven’t had the same level of patience that I would otherwise and that adds a thin layer of guilt on top of everything. It’s really kind of a damned if you do damned if you don’t type thing.
I’m a fixer by nature and there are many times that I simply can’t fix anything. Most of the time, I can’t fix anything and that’s really hard for me to accept.
There’s a positive side to things right now though too and I really try to stay focused on that.
I’m heavily involved in a new startup company that is already gaining a significant global presence. It allows me to work from home and there is a great deal of overlap with what I’m doing for the Autism Community.
While working is overwhelming positive, it’s also a source of frustration for me as well. Trying to work with the kids home is next to impossible. My hours aren’t 9 to 5 and so I do what needs done, when it needs done.
Until Lizze is back in the game, I have no real help with the boys and so I’m trying to balance their needs with our overall need to survive as a family.
This is another situation where there is no possible way for me to win. No matter what I do, someone or something is getting neglected.
I’m also in the process of trying to bring desperately needed resources and attention to my hometown of Canton, Ohio, as well as the surrounding areas. This is something that’s extremely important to me. I’ve made some corporate connections and we are going to be doing something special for the families in my hometown this April.
It really comes down to having too much to do and not nearly enough help to do it.
At some point in the near future, we will financially stabilize and our lives will hopefully begin to improve. Money doesn’t fix everything but it does free up resources and that will help me to focus on the more important things.
Until then, things are honestly going to remain extremely difficult. I’ll often live from minute to minute. That said, I’m living and at least there’s that.
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Thanks Ann Gorseth. I appreciate it. 🙂
Same old same old eh Rob? You have survived so far doing what you can – keep up the good fight. Cheers!
Did you say at one time that you were involved with some agency that could provide wrap around services,maybe respite? Any help from any angle,no matter how small can take a piece off of your plate. Where I live I think Gavin would qualify for MDCP, (Medically Dependent Children’s Program) which would make him eligible for attendant services.Might be worth checking into. I’m proud your new company is getting off to a good start!
I can’t imagine dealing with everything that you do on a daily basis. Maybe you can look into a home health nurse or someone to help with the boys so that you can actually work and refill your own gas tank.
So funny, I thought you were asking us — in which case the answer is “you are going great!”. That is totally different, of course, from how difficult it may feel to you. You are keeping a lot of very important balls in the air and doing the jobs of 3 people has to come out of someone’s hide, as they say. Keep it up; any day only little stuff falls through the cracks is a day of victory.
Hang in there Rob. Every time I see the “school drive selfies” of you and the boys I smile and am so happy that you had a moment of awesome to brighten things up. Sometimes it’s all you have to hold on to, and sometimes that’s all you need. HUGZ and <3 for all of you.