Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed.

Gavin got up this morning and went to use the bathroom. We make him sit because it’s safer for everyone 🙂 Well this morning for some reason he refuses to tell us he stood up while he was peeing.
So he peed all over and our bathroom is carpeted (horrible idea but we didn’t do it).So we wanted to find out what happened. He refused to tell us. We realized he could be embarrassed so we where very careful talking to him. His refusal to talk to us tells us that he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to do.

He has been throwing a fit for about an hour now. The kicker us he was never in trouble until he started melting down. I wish we had a better idea of what was going on inside his head. There has to be consequences for the meltdown. I gave him the choice of either stopping of having oatmeal. Mind you, he is very capable of stopping. He choose to continue kicking, stomping and screaming. So I placed his order for oatmeal. He is still freaking out so breakfast will have to wait till he is under control.

Lost and Tired

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Kristina

Aspie's and bathroom issues go hand in hand (especially the peeing everywhere). I live it, I teach it. After many years of ruined carpets, and subsequent hours of shampooing, my 12yr old, was able to break down what goes on inside his head with these occurrences (though we had to extrapolate the meaning). What we gleaned from our conversation: impulse control doesn't kick in, because the joy of the naughty act of peeing on the floor over rides it. Then, he feels bad because he knows he has disobeyed, and wants no reminder of said act. When we question or bring it to his attention, he gets mad because he is one, embarrassed, two, let down because he couldn't control his urge to do something he knows he's not supposed to, and three, whether we assure him he will not be consequated, in anticipation of being consequated. Whether this is true in your case, only Gavin knows, but it's an interesting perspective into how rational their thinking can be, were it not for their lack of emotional control. We've come to the realization that is just one of the many battles and tantrums we choose to avoid, so instead, we say nothing, go about cleaning up the mess, and that is enough of a visual reminder of the said bad deed, and with time the frequency has decreased. We now get apologies when the act happens, and even offers to assist in the clean up!?! I might add that he, like Gavin, has a myriad of labels as well (Aspergers, bipolar, adhd) and though it doesn't always feel like it, in every situation, there is light at the end of the tunnel (even though for us it's the little battles like not peeing on the floor, that others take for granted).

It's food for thought!

Lost and Tired

Food for thought? That was a five course meal 😉 Really that was a great post. I don't know that I have ever thought about it from that perspective. Gavin was sitting down and peeing and then (while still peeing) stood up. Gavin is so hard to read because he has no facial expressions. He seems to only say "sorry" when he's been caught. His doc's think he is going down the road of being a sociopath. We have been saying that for a while now also. It is really hard to explain but you can see it in his eyes. But you made a really, really good point about him being embarrassed and not wanting to remember because couldn't control himself. That could very well be the case. We know he is lying when he says he doesn't know. We just don't know why he is lying about it. This is defiantly something I am going to think about.

Thank You Again

Lost and Tired

Kristina

Ah, the sociopath vibe! I know that one, know the look, know the feeling, know the suggestion from doctors (and family who no longer associates with you because they can't stand being around said child), etc. Remember that in our constant state of frustration (and lack of sleep) that those on the ASD spectrum have social deficits. What comes out of their mouths (and sometimes their incredulous actions) lead us towards the thinking of "Hmmm, maybe he's a sociopath", and sometimes that is true. In living with it in my home, and being surrounded by it via my occupation, I've come to the belief that the higher functioning they are, the more difficult they can be (and here is were the perception that maybe it's more a mental illness issue, not the autism that makes them act/react a certain way). My son often has that thousand yard stare that scares us to death thinking there is something really scary behind those eyes (and then does something to confirm our fears). These kids, well, they are difficult to say the least. No one may ever know, whether it's "this" or "that" or "all of the above". All you can do is keep at it, and try every approach there is out there, then do it all ten more times. With age and time, little bits start to stick (and you invest stock in hair dye companies trying to survive it all). You're not going to win even half of the battles, but you will win some, and you will get through to help; you just won't always feel like until you step back and re-examine.

Lost and Tired

We do the same. And usually he ends up in his room until he is safe to be around the other kids. Sometimes if he is really going at it we give him the choice of stopping or having oatmeal for the next meal. Sometimes he stops and other times he chooses to to have oatmeal (by no getting under control). We feel comfotable doing the oatmeal thing because he really could stop he just chooses not to. So we are having to discourage the behavior some how.
We used to try rewarding him for getting under control but he exploited that. He started having meltdowns just to get the reward for stopping. As he gets older he is becoming more and more miniplulative.
We try to keep getting more and more creative. We will share what we come up with when we do. 🙂

Thank you for reading…..

Paula

oh wow I wish I had some ideas as to what to tell you my four year old has fits like those usually we give her two choices she can stop and do something that she really likes (which changes all the time) or go to bed if she is going to continue the fits. Usually it works but there are times when it doesn't and she usually ends up having to sit on her bed til she can control herself.

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