As reality sets in

As the day is wearing on reality is setting in. We most likely have 2 autistic children. How does that even happen? We’re barely surviving Gavin how are we going to have what Emmett John needs? How are we going to have what Elliott Richard needs? Will Elliott Richard ever have a “normal” life?

Does there ever come a point where we have been given enough challenges in life? They say that God never gives you more then you can handle. I sometimes think that’s ridiculous. I think people say that because they don’t know what else to say. The truth is that we were crumbling under the pressure before. How do we maintain anything now.

No one understands Gavin now and I know where that has gotten us. Will Emmett John be any different? We already lost half our family and almost all of our friends over Gavin. What will happen now?

Are we strong enough?

LT

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Cheryl

I totally understand your situation. My son Max is totally non-verbal and not on any meds. We have been trying to hold out on meds, but we don't know how much longer we can last. I think our biggest fear is what do we do when we get older. He will be getting older and stronger and we will be just getting older…

I work in law enforcement and I have been to homes where they keep disabled adults and teenagers and I have seen first hand how they are abused and not taken care of. That just isn't a option for my Max.

My husband and myself hardly ever get out. Sometimes we are forced to do things separately just so that one of us can experience other stuff outside of the kids. We have no baby sitter. My mother on occasion… Like once a year occasion. Everything about Max is on us.

Did I mention that Max suffers from Pica as well.. So on top of that, we are constantly pulling out and washing out things that he has put in his mouth.. And it has run the gamut.. We have had some pretty nasty episodes with cat liter, feces, glass, etc… Sometimes, I literally just want to drop dead from sheer frustration.. But then what are my options… If I am not here for Max, then he will suffer and in the end.. their medical issues, are not their fault… I made the choice to have a baby, granted I didn't sign up for this whole Autism thing, but it is what it is.. and quitting isn't an option….

Today he is having surgery for an undescended testicle. Here is the kicker, the stupid hospital forgot he was autistic and didn't schedule his surgery for the morning time.. He has been starving since 12 midnight and his surgery is for 2:PM. So he is going crazy on us because he is hungry. He has already sat at the kitchen table over 3 times waiting for food…

I can only imagine what you and your wife go through. Nobody but other parents of disabled children can understand.

Lost and Tired

WOW. For ao long my wife and felt like we were alone. I mean we knew that there were other parents dealing with special needs kids but we didn't think there were so many so similar. I'm so sorry for how difficult everything is for you and your family but I'm glad your doing it. Like you, I have seen first hand the horrible conditions found in "group homes". I was a medic for many years and I have pulled teenagers and adults out of abusive situations. I don't know what we are going to do either. As you said they get older and stronger and we just get older. It gets to the point were I see no future. I don't want to know what 5 years down the road is going to be like. We had to put Gavin on meds because he has many different serious mental health issues on top of the autism. I feel for you guys and what you are going through. I hope the surgery goes well and I am sorry for the mix up. We have been on the receiving end of that also. It's heartbreaking because they don't understand.
Good luck and thank you for taking the time to post. I know how touch it can be to even get that done sometimes…..

LT

Nikky

Are you strong enough? I believe so. Actually I know so. I also believe that Elliott Richard will grow up to be the loudest and best Autism advocate. Why do I think that? Because of the way he already shows so much compassion for BOTH his brothers.

No one said things are easy and while this is doublely so in your case, I know that a parents love is unfaultering and unwavering. This fact alone means that you will survive. You all will. And as I told Lizze 😉 1 or 2 I'm not going anywhere 😉 I just wish I was closer!! I love you guys!!!

Danielle

Wish you didn’t live so far away. I would love to help out and vollunteer my time. If I can do something from up here in nh, let me know.

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