Autism, Autism and More Autism

The “Help Me Grow” people are coming out again today to continue Emmett John’s evaluation. The more time that goes by the it looks like Emmett John will not escape the diagnosis.

He doesn’t talk yet. All he can do is grunt and squeal (very loud). He has become more aggressive towards Elliott Richard and Lizze. Emmett John hits Elliott Richard for no apparent reason. He also claws up Lizze’s face actually breaking the skin. She has scratches in various stages of healing on her chin and cheeks.

I don’t know why he does any of this. I think maybe he is just frustrated because he can’t communicate with us so he lashes out. I don’t know why he targets those two only but it’s getting old.

Lizze and I are both completely worn out and have nothing left. Some how we manage to get out of bed in the morning and get things going but that’s where the productivity ends. There are so many things that need to be done to this house but it comes down to money and energy, of which we have none.
I wish there were more agencies out there to help families like ours. We always fall into that grey area where there is little to no help.

The truth is that things just seem to keep getting more difficult to manage. I feel like I’m being crushed under this weight. I even dream about being crushed or drowning in the middle of the ocean. That tells me I’m pretty stressed out and overwhelmed.

Not sure how I’m going to pull this off. Sometimes I really think our only chance is a miracle.


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