Lizze and I are crumbling under the weight of everything. Emmett John (EJ) is becoming extremely difficult to manage. He screams and breaks things almost constantly it seems. He targets Elliott Richard (ER) and Lizze and physically assaults them. ER has scratches on his face and back and bumps on his head, all from EJ. Lizze’s face is all scratched up from EJ clawing her for seemingly no reason at all.
EJ is angry much of the time. At least it feels that way. There is no way to know for sure what he is feeling because he still doesn’t talk. He will walk through the living room and throw or smash literally anything he can get his hands on. I think it’s pretty obvious he’s frustrated with life. We are trying everything we can to make things easier for him. We still have a ways to go before any real help kicks in.
I’m going to make some sight cards today and see if that helps in the communication area. We will still keep using the words as always but also point at the same time and maybe that will be easier. At this point I’ll take anything that will help.
Lizze is getting worse. Her migraines are worse and body pain is worse. I can hear her joints “pop” from across the room. It’s truly a horrible sound and I can’t imagine it feels any better then it sounds. She is so stressed out and I can’t seem to find a way to help her.
Gavin is continuing to regress. He had a horrible day at school yesterday. He told his teachers he was afraid we wouldn’t love him anymore. That was bullshit and a complete manipulation of the teachers. We don’t punish him for what happens at school cause he already met with the consequences during the day. We do however, insist on discussing what happened so we can learn how to better manage things in the future. Getting information from him is like pulling teeth. He doesn’t “remember” what happened. He doesn’t “remember” being sent to the office two times yesterday.
We are very clear that he’s not getting in trouble but we want to hear from him what happened. We want his perspective or insight. This inevitably leads to a meltdown and him having to go to his room for everyone’s safety. I’m not sure there is even a point anymore. The only thing he will talk about (to no end) is what the lunch menu at school is. He is obsessed with food.
ER doesn’t listen anymore. Honestly, I can’t imagine why. None of his other brother listen why should he. He is getting lost in the shuffle and I don’t know how to fix that. We need preschool to start. For that to happen they need to have an opening and they don’t.
No one gets just how bad things are and how badly we need help.