My Reality: The need to purge

So I have been struggling lately. Honestly, I have been struggling a lot. My life is very overwhelming. My wife and I are raising 3 kids. 2 of our kids are special needs and all 3 fall on the spectrum somewhere. Gavin our oldest is extremely challenging. It appears that we are also dealing with schizophrenia with him as well. I can’t even begin to explain how tough that is. We are back to multiple violent meltdowns everyday again.

Our youngest Emmett John is most likely non-verbal autistic but we don’t know for sure. He is 2 years old but stuck at about 9 months developmentally. We are trying to get him every possible resource in order to help him. He doesn’t talk so we struggle to communicate. EJ is also struggling with sensory issues. He will not wear clothes most of the time because he can’t stand the way they feel. It’s so heart breaking to watch him struggle.

Elliott Richard is our middle child. He is 4 years old and extremely advanced for his age. He is believed to fall on the very high end of the spectrum. Aside from anxiety issues he is very well adjusted and happy. I constantly worry about what this situation we are living in will do to him.

Lizze is sick. She was diagnosed with fibromyalgia about 5 years ago. She lives in constant pain every minute of every day. She has migraines everyday that don’t respond to medication. She has arthritis and what they think is narcolepsy. Nothing is easy for her and seems to actually be getting worse.

I destroyed my back in 2000 while on a run as a paramedic. Of course I would have the freak injury that never gets better. The pain was supposed to go away after 6 months but it’s still here after 10 years. I need surgery but our life won’t allow the time needed to recover.

At times like now I just begin to feel defeated. There are so many thing that need done to this house. Between running 2 businesses and everything else I have no energy or money for that matter to do these things.
Something always happens to take us down a few notches. We were starting to move forward and Gavin began hearing voices again. Everything we had begun to accomplish is out the window because we have to rethink everything to allow for extra safety precautions.

I’m done ranting now. I have to go switch the laundry and try to get some sleep. Occasionally I need to unload and I typically do it here so I can leave it and move on.

2 comments

  1. Hey Rob…..we are all ears buddy, vent away.I know about back pain also, and i'll tell you what…until you've had it, you can't imagine how bad it hurts and how it TOTALLY effects your life.I have a degeerative disc prblem where the tailbone meets the spine, and when it goes south, i'm down for a good week, easily. You make sure that you atleast try to get some rest or you will end up in a total burnt out condition that you can't afford to be in. Take care Rob..

  2. I'm sure you've tried and done everything, but I just wanted to suggest it just in case. Have you tried the brushing technique on EJ? You use a therapressure brush to stimulate deep tissue and nerves and it shown to help calm any hyper sensitivity. The brush can be purchased for like 6$ and it's totally worth a try. We're just trying it on Cameron now so I can't speak from personal experience, but a friend of Cameron's has been using it for a while and it's benefited him a great deal.

    I too struggle from fibromyalgia. I was to the point where I could barely function in day to day life. It is a horrible and debilitating disability. But I started walking every night (at first it was down the street and back) and now I am following the couch to 5k running program and I am almost pain free. Exercise, although hard and painful, has really given me some relief. It took about 6months to get to this point but it worked. If exercise is an option for Lizze I strongly recommend it.

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