On of the reasons I started this blog was to vent my frustrations and feelings in a safe place and be able to leave them there. The other reason I started this blog was to share my personal story with Autism and how it affects our lives.
One of the things you will notice is that we are not dealing with the “as seen on tv” kind of Autism. While there is no such thing as a “typical” Autistic child you will find that in our case with Gavin he is a truly unique and complicated case.
The other thing you will find is that my posts are darker and grittier. This is because I don’t sugar coat anything. There is no benefit if I am not honest.
I don’t believe my children were “blessed” with Autism. If I could take that burden away from them I would do so in a second. I want the best for them and Autism is stealing at least Gavin’s future away.
I tend to focus most of my posts on Gavin because he is by far the most challenging of all the kids. Gavin is the most profoundly affected by Autism as well as a host of other mental health issues. As you may already know Gavin was born “typical” and began regressing around the age of 3 or 4. I have no clear memory of when the switch was actually flipped. Rarely a day goes by that I don’t wonder what I did wrong. How do you miss something like that? I’m sure it was a mire gradual process but I swear it was like we put him to bed one night and the next morning everything was different.
Our lives tend to revolve around Gavin’s very specific sensory needs. I feel it’s important that people understand how having a child like Gavin affects the entire family. I don’t understand how some people consider having an Autistic child a blessing. I would give anything to get Gavin back. Maybe if your child was born Autistic then you don’t know the difference. Sometimes I think that would have been easier. If Gavin was born this way then I wouldn’t know to miss him.
I just want to show people an inside look at what our lives are like. I share the struggles, of which there are many. I am brutally honest at times and I know not always politically correct. However, I will always be honest. This is My Reality Autism.
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