Gavin was up past 1 am this morning. He wakes up this morning and eats his oatmeal for breakfast without a single complaint. It’s like nothing ever happened.This is perhaps one of the most frustrating parts for me. The rapid mood shifts are killing me. He was so out of control last night that I was up with Elliott about 6 times during the night. Elliott was freaked out and scared. Gavin finally goes to sleep and wakes up as though nothing had ever happened. I’m still in a rough mood from last night. The rapid mood changes are probably related to the bipolar disorder. He gets like this when he is shifting to a manic phase. It’s very frustrating for me because he can freak out for hours and then shut if off as though someone flipped a switch. My body can’t just shut it off that fast. It’s like when I was a medic. We would get a call in the middle of the night for an unresponsive newborn. You cannot imagine the pressure you feel on the way. Every decision you make literally means life or death. Then shortly before you arrive they come over the radio and say to disregard and return to station. While very different from last night it’s the same principle. Your adrenaline floods your system and you never get to work it out because your called off or in the case of last night he just shuts it off.
To make things even more frustrating he may have been playing us last night. At one point (in the second video I think) he is screaming and hitting himself. Then he stops and in a normal voice he tells us he is going to move Elliott’s shoes so he doesn’t kick them at us. Then goes right back to throwing a fit. That tells me that he has control over at least some of this behavior if not all of it. What do we do with that?