Gavin is driving me nuts.... -

Gavin is driving me nuts….

…and before you say it, I know it’s a short trip. πŸ™‚
He has actually behaved pretty well today meltdown wise anyway.. The problem I have is his general behavior. He is having a more and more difficult time followng even the simplist of directions. We typically give him one step tasks to do. His memory seems to be fading, again. Sometimes, well actually most of the time is feels like we are getting played.

He is also becoming creepy again. He lingers and likes to stand in the doorway and just watch his brohers. He doesn’t really do anything wrong per say but we have told him to stop and he won’t. The whole thing just rubs me the wrong way. It’s just creepy. I know how that sounds but it’s just a gut feeling.

He can’t seem to learn from his mistakes. He continues to do the same thing over and over again. It’s really frustrating to have to repeat myself literally dozens of time in order for him do the simplist of tasks. I think we have hit one of the points where he floats around on the spectrum. These ar never fun times for anyone. With any luck we won’t take to many steps backwards……

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Lost and Tired

These are all very good points. The watching them play thing is creepy to us because of his past sexual aggression. But you may very well be right.. As far as learning from his mistakes, I mean like he says and does things he already knows he shouldn't be doing. He seems to make bad choices over and over again. AN exaggerated example would be touching the same hot burner over and over and over again.

Thanks again for your feed back. I really do appreciate your opinions…


Kids with sensory processing disorders and coordination/ motor planning difficulties often don't seem to learn from their mistakes..their brains just can't figure out another way to do the task that would be successful because they're not getting the sensory information they need. This may also explain why hd watches his brothers, kids with SPD and dyspraxia spend a lot of time observing other children, like Betg said, to learn appropriate social interaction but also so they can copy play and motor activities.
Gavin's memory problems may also be linked to the way his brain processes sound, or auditory perception. He can hear you but his brain can't make sense of or retain all the information.


For the routine things try a schedule for Gavin. Either using pictures ( or if he is a reader, write it out. Take it to an office supply store and have it laminated. He can use a vis a vis marker to cross off the steps he has done.
When you have to give him verbal prompts remember that verbal prompts are the most difficult to fade. Also consider his processing speed. You tell him. "Pick up your shoes". He thinks and thinks forms a picture in his mind of what you are asking and then he thinks about what it looks like for him to do it and just as his brain starts to tell his body what do ( and this may seem like a very long time to you), you say, "Gavin! Pick up your shoes!" That link between his brain and his body is broken and he has to start all over again. Frustrating to both of you. Another idea is to video him (or another person) doing the procedures you request of him. Put very simple subtitles and voice overs over each important part. Then when things are calm watch the video. Don't preach, don't teach just "think out loud" and comment is positive short statements about how the procedure is to be done.
For some kids initiation is the most difficult part of tasks so backward chaining works best. You do steps one and two and have Gavin do step three. Once he is consistently successful at anticipating and completing step 3, add step 2 and then backward chain to step 1.
As for lingering in the door way and watching…I know it seems strange to you, but could he be just trying to figure out the dynamics and think of an appropriate way to join in? It takes our kids a a while to figure out those things. Could you just let him watch and then later talk to him about what he saw? I feel sorry for those kids who always seem to be on the outside looking in.
Have you ever tried the Power Card strategy with Gavin? It is kind of like social stories but I like it better. Here's a link.

Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
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