Autism, illness and the family dynamic… (An Honesty Post)



One of the things I really try to make sure  do is share our story as honestly as possible. In doing so I know that I personally don’t always look that good as a parent, but it’s the truth. My reasoning for doing this is so I never compromise the integrity of the Lost and Tired blog. I make lots of mistakes as a parent and I am far from perfect but I really do try to do the best I can.

I want people to read my story (I say my story cause it’s from my perspective) have a better understanding of what raising a child with special needs is like. I’m the first to admit that our situation is unique and rather extreme. Having multiple children with Autism or even PDD is simply not that common, especially in a blended family. Then on top of that having one spouse or parent that is chronically ill just increases the difficulty to a level beyond what most people can imagine. Every single day I wake up knowing today is going to be more challenging then yesterday was. I am going to be more tired and stressed out today then I was yesterday. I am going to have less patience then I had yesterday.. These are all things I know to be constants in my life.

Another thing that is effected by the all of this is the family dynamic… We don’t have the “typical” Dad goes to work, mom stays home and cleans the house and takes care of the kids. Not that it’s typical anymore but hopefully you get my point. Instead Lizze and I are both stay at home parents. I used to work as a Fire Fighter/Paramedic for many, many years. Life brought us to a point where it became a necessity for both of us to be home all the time. Then about 6 years ago when Lizze was diagnosied with Fibromyalgia and her health took a dramatic turn for the worst it solidified my roll as a stay at home dad. There really is no longer a dynamic it’s more like chaos. I think people take many things for granted they shouldn’t. Something as simple as clear defined roles for each parent or the ability to get up in the morning and go to work. Even if you hate your job at least you have the freedom to go.

Families like mine often have to give up everything in order to just “survive”. It’s really something to think about. I hope those people out there that are blessed with “typical” families never take what they have for granted. I also hope that the families out there like mine have the courage to share their story. We are often invisible to the rest of the world because we never speak up and never complain. We do the best we can for the children we desperately love and fight for each and every day.



Please DO NOT suffer in silence. Share your story here or anywhere else. The more of us that speak up the loader our voice gets. The loader our voice gets the more people will have to listen. The more people have to listen the more educated they become. The more educated they become the more understanding they will have. The more understanding they with have the more compassion they can show. The more compassion they show makes the world a better place our our special needs children.

— Lost and Tired

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About Rob Gorski

Father to 3 with Autism and husband to my best friend. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)

  

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A. M.
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I've never commented before, but I want to say thanks. Sometimes there is something "uncomfortable" to me when I'm reading your blog and I think I have figured it out. It is honest. It's hard to read and it's hard to live it. You can admit the things that perhaps I've thought but can't bring myself to say outloud. Thank you for that.

Rob Gorski
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Thanks for reading. I know what you mean. It took me a really long time to be able to admit these things to myself. But I finally realized that I'm human and it's ok to feel this way. It doesn't mean I love my kids any less. It just means that I recognize my feelings and address them instead of letting them build up into something unhealthy and counterproductive. I also hope it encourages others to share there stories. There are so many people out there that can relate and show support. I finally realized that I wasn't aloe and… Read more »