I will never understand……

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I will never understand….and clearly neither will they.

I had a comment posted earlier to my “Please lose the word “retard from you vocabulary” post.

The comment read: It’s a word, you only make it good or bad by how you take it. Lighten up.”

My reply was as follows: “While your entitled to your own opinion, clearly you have never had a child with special needs. When you hear your child, someone you love more then anything else in the world, called a “retard” it’s no longer “just a word”. I’m VERY aware that “retard” is a word. When used in a non-offensive manner it’s just fine. When used to describe a child, it’s disgusting, offensive, archaic and ignorant. Maybe I need to lighten up but you need to have a heart.”

Look, I’m not suggesting that people have to think my way and I do respect everyone’s right to their own opinion. Also, I’m not directing this at any one person person in particular. It’s more a of statement. That said, come on people, where’s your compassion. Myself and probably every other special needs parent out there KNOWS that “retard” is a word. If you call one of my babies a retard, I promise you, I will only take it one way. Are you suggesting that I’m “misunderstanding” the situation or the intent behind using that word? Are you FREAKIN’ kidding me? I’m not an idiot and I’m VERY much aware of the intent behind it.

Since I started this blog I have met thousands and thousands of special needs parent from all across the world. I can’t think of ANYONE that would tolerate someone calling their child a retard. No one is saying the the word can’t can’t be used appropriately in the context of something OTHER THAN special needs children or persons with developmental disorders. You CAN “retard” weed or even mold growth. A special needs child is NOT a “retard”. When you say something like that about a child, it can only be taken one way and only have a NEGATIVE connotation.  There is NO misunderstanding. It’s called hurtful, hateful, disgusting ignorance. Nothing more nothing less.

What you don’t seem to get is that words CAN and DO hurt. Especially words like “retard” and ESPECIALLY when it’s used to describe YOUR child. As I said before, maybe I need to lighten up, maybe not but YOU NEED to have a heart and show some FREAKIN’ compassion already.



Rob Gorski

Full time, work from home single Dad to my 3 amazing boys. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)
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A-freakin’-men! Well said.


Thanks 🙂