My battle with depression 7/23/2011

I have been pretty open about my battle with depression.  While it’s not always easy to talk about,  it’s important to talk about. 
I realized I was dealing with depression again a few weeks ago.  I had become a bit…….obsessed with my health.  I started freaking out over everything I thought was wrong with me.  It got to the point where everything became harder and harder to “maintain”.

I sat down and had a very honest conversation with my wife and she agreed that I was most likely dealing with depression again. A few days later I met with my doctor and got myself back on paxil, an antidepressant. 

I have been back on paxil for a couple weeks now.  Overall,  I feel much better but I still struggle.  The more stressed out I become the worse the depression gets…at least that’s how it feels. 

I’m in one of those “tailspin” places right now.  Learning that Gavin may have Childhood Disintegrative Disorder has me walking a pretty fine line at the moment.  I’m finding myself worrying about irrational things once again.

It really is a struggle to resist the overwhelming urge to give into these irrational fears.  However,  giving into them will not help me or my family to get through this challenging time with Gavin.

I’m very worried about Gavin and I’m overwhelmed and terrified by the very real possibility that he could have Childhood Disintegrative Disorder. This whole thing is just is taking it’s toll on me right now.

I’m so glad that I talked to my doctor and got back on meds because I can  only imagine how much more I would be struggling with this if I hadn’t.

I have good days and not so good days,  just like everyone else.  My hope is by sharing my story that someone out there may choose to get help if they need it. 

– Lost and Tired

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Sarah

I feel the same way and have prob been in denial about my own depression. It's good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way. I hope things look up for you!! I have a 8 year old son with asperger's and I know the up's and down's and I believe that anyone who lives with autism on some level wether it's "high" or "low" functioning deals with a lot of the similar challenges and worries.

Lost_and_Tired

You are right. Similar challenges but different experiences. The problem is that we need everyone to recognize that everyone\’s experience is different. Right now much of what people know about Autism is one piece and not the whole puzzle.
Well said.

Dearest_Nikky

If this comes off sounding like a B*tch, it is not my intention.

now with that being said – I would find it a bit hard to believe if you WEREN'T dealing with some depression with all that is on your plate. I think it is a great thing that you ARE as open and honest as you have been about your struggle. The fact that you DO talk about it says volumes. It speaks volumes about you as a person AND as a parent! 😉

Lost_and_Tired

Not at all. Your right.

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