Something that has always bothered me is the parents that shoot those daggered looks of judgement. Most of you know what I’m talking about. When I’m out in public and my child with Autism has a meltdown or is otherwise struggling in the environment he is in at that particular moment. People unsympathetically look at me as though I should do something more aggressive than try and talk my child down or defuse the situation with calm, quite words.
Granted, most people don’t have the slightest idea what is going on and why I choose to handle these outbursts the way I do. However, is it really necessary to make snide comments about my child needing a firm hand?
In the past 10 years, I’ve heard just about every sort of cruel, ignorant and intolerant comment that could possibly come out of someone’s mouth. The worst of them include the use of the r-word.
I realize that these meltdowns and behavioral outbursts can be unpleasant to to witness. Trust em when I say that I understand. However, they are even more unpleasant for my child.
Having said that, assuming that my kids are spoiled brats or just bad kids, simply because they are having a meltdown, is grossly ignorant. Kids and adults on the Autism Spectrum can experience the world in ways that are extremely overwhelming and completely overstimulating. Sensory overload is one of the most common reasons behind a meltdown. It very often has nothing to do with disciplinary issues whatsoever.
I found this video and thought it might help to explain Sensory Overload.
[youtube width=”720″ height=”480″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGKCtp9Gaxc[/youtube]
I promise that if you had to spend one day in the shoes of my kids, experiencing their sensory issues you would have a much better understanding.
What really gets to me is when you watch the behavior of the kids belonging to these same judgmental parents. Often times, I see kids that are downright rude, disrespectful and out of control and yet these same parents have the nerve to cast judgement on mine. Really?
In my world, my reality, there is a huge difference between bad behavior and behavior that is outside of ones control.
Regardless of Autism or Sensory Processing Disorder, my children are polite and respectful of others and generally well behaved.
I suggest you look at yourself and your kids before casting judgement on mine.
People's criticisms say nothing about me or my children, their words and judgement simply say that they are unloving, judgemental, and very probably, unhappy. It's easy to criticize from the perimemter….people do this in every aspect of society (think armchair quarterbacking). So, don't take it personally, focus only on your child and what loving actions you need to give in order to support your child. Your children, will in the end, learn far more from your actions and reactions than they ever would from a strangers unkind words.
I too have a son with Autism and I too have had the experiences of other peoples ignorance. I was old enough and ugly enough for it to go over my head, although it was upsetting, but the worst thing was the effect other people critism had on my sons siblings! Thankyou for sharing!
Thank you for sharing that. 🙂
My son, when he was about 8, told me, "You don't know how hard it is to be me."
I'm often old how polite he is – but he doesn't act that way at home. Here, he's a disrespectful teenager.
And the worst comment I heard from others? "Better you than me."
I can totally relate. I have a 16 yr old Aspie daughter who is just as charming and polite as they get, but I get to see the other side that's not quit so cordial. I also here from her "I wish
I was normal". Teenage years are difficult without Autism. It can be so hard for them.
Very well said. That\’s a good point.
I got sick of nasty looks too so I made this you tube video and printed business cards with the address to it. Now if I notice someone and it annoys me I just give them a card. Even if they never see it, makes me feel better.