Tough choices: When not to vaccinate

Tough choices: When not to vaccinate

Let me start by saying that I am not antivaccine. I firmly believe in vaccinating my kids,  not only for their health and safety,  but for yours as well.

Having said that,  Elliott is due for his boosters.  Three boosters to be exact, chicken pox,  MMR and Polio.

This is where the problem or rather the concern comes into play.  Elliott was hospitalized after his first MMR vaccine.  He had a bad reaction and they thought he had actually developed measles. It was pretty scary. Did it cause his Autism?  No it didn’t. However,  that doesn’t mean I’m not concerned.

Maybe the first reaction was a fluke.  There’s no way to know. Maybe the reaction to the booster will be worse or maybe there won’t be a reaction at all. There’s no way to tell.

There is no way to see the future and my crystal ball is broken.  The only thing I can do is discuss our concerns with the doctor and maybe have his current immunity levels tested to see if the booster is even necessary.

There is clearly risk no matter what decision is made.  Is he more likely to contract measles, mumps or rubella than he is to have a bad reaction to the vaccine itself?  The truth is that because so many people are choosing not to vaccinate their kids,  the risk of contracting these diseases is much greater than it used to be. So there is a legitimate concern for his health if he doesn’t get the vaccine.

Like I said,  I’m not antivaccine.  I think vaccines are extremely important to maintaining the overall health and safety of society as a whole.  I’m totally aware that vaccines can injure some people and that is a tragic thing. My heart goes out to those injured by a vaccine as well as to their families.  I have spoken with a few families that have experienced a vaccine injury and what I learned was enough to raise my level of concern and cause me to exercise a greater level of caution.

Having said that,  I’m simply a concerned parent that has a legitimate reason to be concerned.  Based on the reaction he had to the MMR vaccine the first time around,  I have no idea what to do this time around.  Does that make sense?

This part of parenting really sucks because the decisions I make along with my wife about our kids health,  can dramatically impact them in an unexpected way.

I would love to discuss this issue without it turning into a flame war.  Please be respectful of others opinions.

**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

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Posted from WordPress for Android so please forgive the typos. Auto-correct and I don’t get along very well.

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If you feel your child “needs” the vaccinations, check their titers first.  
We no longer vaccinate.  My entirely unvaccinated child is completely typical AND medically healthy.  My other 3 are on the spectrum and medically complex.  One was assessed as typical 3 times at major teaching hospitals, was vaccinated after an accident and regressed following that (at age 4).  There are no guarantees that things will turn out typically.
I had three severe reactions to the flu vaccine in my late 20s and early 30s; I never got the vaccination as a child and only did because I did some time as an EMT.  Had I continued to not read the package insert and get that particular vaccine, I may have lost nerve function permanently.
I am not anti-vaccine, but definitely educate yourself before you vaccinate yourself or your kids.


@KathyBrower  When I got a bunch of vaccinations at about 20 to go overseas for a semester abroad I just about died. I suddenly for all the inflammatory diseases that were incurable. I was in hell. 15 years later I am just now managing the pain but my life will never be the same. I suppose it all could be a coincidence but inflammatory diseases? It’s not something I would wish on anyone. Picture being in labor times ten for years with no way to help the pain and no time off to breathe. I was very suicidal.


@KathyBrower suddenly had all these diseases… I now never sleep also. I went from being a hardcore long sleeper and now I can’t sleep even when I’m super tired


@DEBTHELL @KathyBrowerI appreciate your feedback. It’s important to note that while your experience is very real, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it represents the vast majority of the population. I think that it’s important to know that everyone has the potential to reach differently to a vaccine.
Some people have very negative reactions to vaccines, some people will never admit that but it’s very true. Many more people will be vaccinated with no ill effects. This is what frustrates me about the antivaccine movement.
There are typically underlying genetic issues that when combined with the vaccine creates a devastating reaction.
I would love to see some type of screening to make sure that kids with the type of genetic abnormality don’t get blindly exposed to something that can hurt them.


whooping cough is rarely fatal and only in newborns. Most of us have had it.. a persistent cough for a few a months.. super simple and not a big deal. Perhaps it would help you to read up on these diseases and realize 1. I’ll bet you are not vaccinated nor any of the parents at your you are the biggest worry and 2. these disease and very rarely more than mild unless you are 2 months of age and if you are.. you won’t have built up the antibodies anyway even if you got it at birth according to them.. so again pointless. What’s killed these diseases? Washing your hands.. nothing else. If you actually researched it.. diseases like measles dropped to near nothing as soon as running water was available and long before shots were invented


Doctors do not recommend vacciens for autistic children. Autistic kids have inflammation and vaccines are not suited for them. Since you believe in herd immunity, trust in that so you shouldn’t have a need to worry about other kids giving him a disease. Besides.. booster shots are for “just in case it didn’t take the first time around”. You could titre test him. It is unwise to vaccinate a child that has brain and body damage. And no that 1% increase at school who are not vaccinated will not make your kid sick.

Super Mom Jess - Aut

anyway – you can see the list of ingredients on the cdc website, and then on the osha website you can look up the ingredients and see the health problems they cause.

Super Mom Jess - Aut

ugh — why doesnt it let me post links??

Super Mom Jess - Aut

My son with autism did not get his second MMR. I am pretty concerned about the toxins in the shots – like formaldehyde, a known carcinogen. I dont think we should be getting injected with it. It is in the vaccines. You can see a list of the ingredients in the shots here:

Super Mom Jess - Aut

my kids were current on their shots until it was time for the second chickenpox. I felt it was overboard so now they both have the exemption. What helped me decide was comparing the number of shots I got as a kid vs the number they recommend for my kids. I'm healthy, I don't see why they need 4 times as many shots as I did.

Lost and Tired via F

Thanks everyone

HumpbackWhale Jordan

Maybe try asking if they can separate the MMR into 3 vs all at once. My son's boosters are coming up as well and that is going to be one of my questions.

Danielle Seaman via

That's a tough decision to make, we have not had any major "people vaccine" issues other than my oldest did actually get a small chicken pox rash when he got the vaccine. But with that said we had a cat that almost died from his shots. His first year he got shots he got very sick, the next year that we got them he almost died as he had a stronger reaction that the first time. Spent 3 days in the vet hospital to the tune of more money than I care to share (this was before children). I only say this to say, you are already aware there is no "right" answer. As you said, he could be fine, he could get really sick, he could get just a minor reaction. The fact that he had such a strong reaction the first time would scare the crap out of me enough that were I in your shoes, I too would be unsure and scared about what to do. Good luck in your decision.


Please listen to ur gut and follow ur parental instinct not a doctor. Only u know what's best for ur kids. U r the expert of ur child. Only u have their best interest & well being at heart.
Info every parent should have in order to make an INFORMED DECISION when it comes to vaccinating their children:
This is a good place to start-
Invaluable sites to bookmark-


This is a very informative post of yours because you were able to mention a lot of very helpful and useful information here. I am definitely sure that many people will be aware of what are the things that they should be doing and avoiding when it comes to vaccination.
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Megan Kitchen

I am all commenty today, so I will suggest what our ped. suggested to us. We break the MMR down into the three separate vax's and Soren gets them one at a time about a month apart. This might help isolate if he does have a reaction, and spreads out his shots some (although it does give the poor guy two more to deal with)


I am not an antivaccine person myself either. I believe that vaccines help us and society to remain healthy and prevent diseases from spreading. I just think that the vaccine schedule should be adjusted. I feel like these sweet babies and kids get way to many vaccines in one visit. We should just spread them out and take them one at a time. I think this would help some children from having such adverse reactions. I think that testing his levels for immunity is a great idea, why risk getting another bad reaction. I have a 3 year old daughter who had classic Autism, non-verbal and very much had sensory processing disorder. The next time she goes in for vaccines I will only do one at at time, she has had negative reactions in the past.
Thanks…. and good luck!


My sons last vaccine was a complete mess he went in full blown meltdown screaming they were trying to kill him and hid under the table i cried watching him go threw that n left pissed when the nurses laughed at the strange comments he made. Now he has never had a reaction to shots i Aways wondered if that was the cause but i can't change it. I just don't know if i can ever put my son through that again. We seen the gastrointestinal doctor today he got blood work and i had to hug him let him hid his face in my shoulder but again his comments were. Dramatic and i really hate putting my son through this. But i love Jenny macarthys books our kids immune. system should be tested. I don't think there is any harm. in just trying to get the test first than if immune system is ok than get the shot. But I actually know a mother who refuses immunizations and i support her but i continue to get them. I pray he doesn't have a reaction. Really your plates full that's the last thing you need. It never ends 🙁 im right there with my prayers, Shawna


You guys know Elliot the best. Test his levels and see if he does have immunity. If not, could you vaccinate him in the hospital just in case there is a reaction? IDK if that is possible??

My triplets spent 3 months in the NICU and those kids are very fragile and they got their vaccines on schedule. Theo, who is autistic, has had no adverse reactions, just meltdowns afterward. But so have the girls. In fact the girls usually provide the most grief by screaming as soon as they see a needle…. *sigh*

That being said, we did experience whooping cough with Olena which landed her in the ER for 24 hours until tests confirmed it. She was vaccinated for it. I can't imagine what it would have done to her had she NOT been vaccinated.

Good luck.

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