Update: This post was written on April 08, 2014. Much has changed since then and much has stayed the same. Recently, people have been reaching out because they have shared a similar experience and I believe this post will be helpful to them. It’s raw and emotional but it was the truth as I saw it back then. This was a very difficult time and we still struggle to this day.
The purpose of this post is to help educate the public as to what it can feel like to be a special needs parent. Well, what it feels like to me to be a special needs parent. I have tried to put into words what it felt like for me to lose my oldest son to the regressive form of #Autism. I wrote this a while back but I think it’s still very relevant.
My words may not make sense to some of you but I hope that they at least bring some understanding. There are many special needs parents out there that have experienced grief and live with these same feelings that I express here in this post. I want you all to know that it’s okay to feel how you feel. Please don’t ever let someone tell you that you’re wrong or even a bad parent for feeling a certain way.
At the core of every special needs parent, beats the heart of human being. This means that while we are capable of amazing feats, at the end of the day we are still human beings and can become overwhelmed, frustrated and even resentful…yes, even resentful. It happens, it’s normal and it’s okay.
What matters is what you do with those feelings. What matters is that regardless of how overwhelmed you may feel or how resentful you may get, you never give up and you continue to love and care for your children. instead of being filled with guilt for feeling these things, I have chosen to embrace them and recognize them for what they are, just feelings.
I chose to use these feelings to help me remember that simply because I may be faced with superhuman challenges, that doesn’t mean that I’m superhuman.
I hope this makes sense.