Please be aware that I’m venting in this post and use some colorful language in the process. Sorry Mom…
I had our brief IEP meeting with Gavin’s school today. Man….the hits just keep coming. Part of Gavin’s MFE was to repeat his intelligence testing. This is important for several reasons but for us, right now, it gives us an idea of where he is now, compared to where he was.
Unfortunately, Gavin’s score has dropped across the board.
I’m not looking at the paper work right now but one category he went from a 109 previously, to a current score of 94. So while he has dropped across the board, some aren’t as bad as others.
The major concern right now was his score on the Composite Memory Index. Previously he scored 116, which I believe is above average. Currently he scored a 74. While I’m kinda freaking out right now, it’s not unexpected. We known that Gavin is cognitively regressing for some time now.
We just didn’t know how bad.
What this does is tell us that we aren’t imagining anything. It’s really hard to actually know this for sure now and to literally see how much he has lost.
Right now I’m screaming fuck you Autism…in my head. Regression is a bitch and it’s heartbreaking to watch this happen. Unless you have experienced this first hand, it’s impossible to understand. The closest thing would be Alzheimer’s and that’s actually a pretty good analogy.
My fears are becoming a reality. We are continuing to lose more and more of Gavin. The truly scary part is that we don’t know when or if this regression will ever stop. We don’t know how far this will go. We have already been told that he could eventually need a wheelchair and even worse, assistance to breath.
This is just crappy. No..it’s shitty, fucking shitty.
I don’t even know what to think right now and Lizze is still at the hospital with Gavin. Sometimes I really hate our lives. I so desperately wish I could make all of this better for my family.
**Thanks for reading**
-Lost and Tired
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