No Meltdowns: Day 2

The Lost and Tired family has been struggling with extremely violent meltdowns from one Gavin Alexander. We have been trying different things with little benefit. 

These meltdowns are a manipulative tool that Gavin uses only when he’s being held accountable for a choice he’s made.

These meltdowns hold the entire family hostage and need to stop. Out of desperation I have made the consequences of this behavior more severe. We don’t hit and we don’t spank.  We believe in a nonviolent approach to discipline.

That said,  there are ways of making the consequences more painful without causing physical harm.

In Gavin’s case,  I told him that with every meltdown he has,  I will remove something from his room,  beginning with his Teddy Bear and favorite blanket.

Since the implementation of this new,  more aggressive approach,  we have been meltdown free.  We are on the morning of day 3 and not a single meltdown. That makes 2 full days without the screaming,  self-injury and house shaking.

There have been several times where he would have typically melted down.  However,  as he’s gearing up to freak out,  I remind him of the consequences and he stops on a dime.  It’s literally like he just flips off the switch.

I knew Gavin was capable of great choices.  Everyday that this trend continues,  simply proves that even more.

**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

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Posted via WordPress for Android. Please forgive any typos as auto correct and I don’t see eye to eye.

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Jack Lang

Hi, I'm really happy that I found this forum. I've done some research on autism and I can't tell you enough of how glad I am that you guys have set ip a chatboard to discuss issues such as these, which are extremely important to so many parents. And all of your accounts just go to show how smart and reasonable autisitc children can really be, if they are only handled in the proper manner.
My recent post Why Build Underground Survival Shelters?

@tvjames

It's been wonderful to read that he's made the right choice several times in a row. Have you considered recognizing and rewarding it? Like the next time he has the potential to react and doesn't, you point that out and then give him some kind of positive reinforcement (in our house, it's chocolate for one and a handwritten note of praise for the other). The choice was made out of fear but fear only lasts so long and it just might be the opportunity to work in some conditioning. It's not a bribe because it wasn't promised in advance and it's not a shakedown because it doesn't happen every time.

Either way, cheering with you on the last few blessed days!

Jennifer Fury

must be SUCH a relief!!!!

Lost_and_Tired

My fingers are crossed 🙂

Diane

Just found your site. I have a 16-year old with PDD and many other disorders. I feel for you like you can't imagine. My son had a meltdown at school two months ago and threatened someone with scissors. As a result of that and a 7-week hospitalization, we still have to go to court tomorrow. The school pressed charges, and he evens goes to a Level IV behavior school and all the students have disabilities. I could tell you stories tell the cows came home. Anyhow, I am sooooo happy you have found something to stop his meltdowns. I wish I could come up with something. I haven't read all your past posts, but plan to and plan to keep coming back. Thank you for this site.

Lost_and_Tired

Diane, I'm so glad yo meet you. Trust me, I understand. Gavin has had several hospitalizations as well. May I suggest that you join our Autism Help Forums. They can be found at http://www.lostandtired.com/autismhelp or you can click on the page above. Sign up and share your story and learn from others.

We can all help you come up with ideas that could help. I wish you the best of luck and please know that we are all here for you and that you are not alone. 🙂

@ABCSoupChild

Our meltdowns get really ugly too. We also found out that E. is likely having what's called absence seizures during these meltdowns. Maybe something to look into?

Lost_and_Tired

Gavin was just diagnosed with epilepsy and has the very same seizures you are referring to. However, in Gavin's case, when he has a seizure, he literally freezes in place, like someone hit a pause button. He then will pick up right where he left off and have no memory of what just happened.

Gavin's meltdowns are a choice. I say that because it has been proven time and time again that he could stop them on a dime, whenever he desires. Gavin is not your typical child with Aspergers, not that there really is a typical. He has other serious mental health issues that are behind most of these meltdowns.

I really appreciate you suggesting the whole seizure thing. We just found out about 2 months ago.

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