I’m writing this post because I believe that we have reached a point in Gavin‘s life where but has become very clear that nature has won.
For those of you unfamiliar with nature vs nurture here’s the best way I can explain it.
Gavin‘s biological father is sociopath. Most, if not all of Gavin‘s psychological issues were genetic birthday presents, from his biological father, Nick. The aspergers is likely linked to Lizze, just to be fair.
Without intervention,nature would like haveGavingrow up to be like Nick.
However, we had always hoped that by nurturing Gavin and providing unconditional love and support, we would be able to derail that plans that nature had in store for him.
Does that make sense?
Having said that, I want to make it clear that Gavin has a great many fantastic qualities. He’s bright, creative, helpful and polite. These are just a few things off the top of my head.
The problem is that Gavin has a very dark side to him that is becoming more and more prominent. In many ways, this dark side is winning and becoming his dominant personality, if you will.
You are likely already familiar with the meltdowns we deal with on an almost daily basis. He’s also becoming very vocally degrading to Lizze. Basically, he treats her like garbage and as time goes on, it’s getting worse and worse. He is however, very careful not to do this in my presence because he knows how quickly I would put him in his place.
It’s very much like he’s 2 people. When he’s around people that are more likely to give him what he wants, he’s polite and respectful. However, when it comes to people that hold him accountable and don’t let him do whatever he wants, he is very, very unpleasant.
This is very much in line with Nick. He’s one way when people are watching and another when they aren’t. Nick also likes to manhandle the women in his life.
This has been coming on for a very long time and actually started when he very young. He began targeting women with violence and would assault Lizze frequently. While it’s been a long time since he physically went after Lizze, the trend continues.
We have done everything we can possibly do to help Gavin overcome Nicks legacy. He’s been in counciling for many years and we have done nothing but love, nurture and support him.
While we have no intention of giving up, we are realizing that sometimes, nature can’t be overcome.
It breaks my heart to even say this but it’s the truth.
**Thanks for reading**
-Lost and Tired
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This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung’s Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct is working against me.