Behavioral Crisis: Vent and Purge

In pretty frustrated with Gavin right now.  He’s playing the victim role.  He has to eat before they take him upstairs. Never mind the fact that Lizze and I haven’t eaten anything since all this went down this morning. 

We have to wait until we get home because we need the friggin money for gas to go back and forth. 

The hospital gave me a pass and sent me to the cafeteria to get him dinner.  You better believe I asked for oatmeal.  Unfortunately,  they only have that for breakfast.  So instead,  I got him a turkey sandwich,  celery,  carrots and a bottle of water.  I made sure that everything was healthy and nothing was deep fried. 

He was disappointed but ate it anyway. 

He just keeps acting like he’s the one being inconvenienced.  He actually thinks he’s the only one affected by all of this. 

As I’m writing this I explained to him the we are hungry to because we haven’t eaten anything.  What does he do?  He starts gloating that he’s eating and we aren’t.  He telling us how good his sandwich tastes and I’m doing by best to ignore him.

Who does that?

I really don’t think he cares.  We haven’t even recovered from last week and weekend and now we have this to deal with this.  Now he’s saying that he wants the rest of it thrown away,  because he’s done. 

I’m angry… I’m hurt… I’m frustrated…and I’m done. 

**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

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Rob Gorski

Full time, work from home single Dad to my 3 amazing boys. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)
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And Rob, those of us who read everything that you post (and Lizze, when all she wanted was a picture with Gavin and his hand said ‘nooOOooo! Ha ha ha ha!’ understand EXACTLY what your saying. You’re not making him out to be an evil monster, you’re telling the truth. ‘Sans sugar coating’ as our friend Amy ‘Winklett’ Krebs tells it. I highly doubt that the ‘poor little aspie boy’ was the situation, or you would have TOLD us that, since you’ve had 10 years of observing his behavior. (Lucky you.) So I for one do NOT believe for one second that you’re attributing ‘evil’ behaviors to what is really a poor sweet child that can’t help it. When he turns that shit off & on like a switch, for example: FREAKOUT! MELTDOWN! LOSING MY EFFING MIND!!!!! ‘Gavin, would you like some ice cream?’ Dead stop on the freakout: ‘Sure! Can I have Vanilla?’ I think I’ll support his parents on this one, and if your bullshit detector isn’t going off, you may want to check your batteries. I am not saying at all that he doesn’t have autism, I’m saying that the other conditions combined make him a very unique case; and if his parents who deal with him every single day saying he’s manipulating? I’d say there’s a good chance that his behavior is manipulative.


Rob–I know done. Not with my children, but with a sibling. It is confusing and maddening and heartbreaking, and multiplied tenfold, at least, when it comes to Gavin. I can't imagine how that must hurt. I am sorry this is what you've got in your world right now. I'm glad that you're able to talk about it–there's nothing to be gained from silence when frustration and stress have gotten so high. Always, always tell us. There will always be someone reading and nodding, whether they're in very similar shoes, or just almost kind of similar shoes. I don't know if this is a comfort to you or not, but it's most likely the truth. And I guess that means that you're in a spectacularly absurd and hard place, but that you may not be entirely alone in it. Perhaps that will be just a little comfort, I don't know. Again, though, I would ask that you keep talking, keep telling–if only for your own health. You've made hard decisions about things that most people can't fathom. That right there earns you my respect. It is what it is, and you're facing it and moving through it. I think that's the best a person can do sometimes. Regards, Leslie
My recent post The Strength of the Sometimes Sisters


But they will admit him, right? And, you will both go home, right? You two deserve a good meal and a good rest! You will be okay, and hopefully somebody will come up with a better solution for you as a family. Peace…


He's a child. Perhaps you should consider that he isn't capable of the complex evil thoughts you attribute to him.


Perhaps you should consider the fact that Rob knows his son better than most people. It also sounds like he is extremely stressed, hungry, tired, and emotionally drained. I'm sure Rob has considered many different things, seeing as he's dealt with Gavin since he was very little.


Absolutely. But being emotionally exhausted may lead him to making conclusions that aren't founded. For instance, if Gavin has aspergers, he's less likely to be able to gauge the feelings of others. So maybe he really was just saying his food was great because it was, not to be mean. If EVERYTHING he does is with high levels of social awareness, maybe the aspie diagnosis is incorrect.


I have to sort of agree with Jennifer. I think rob is tired and frustrated but with an aspergers diagnosis you have to know the child is not always aware of others feelings. It's been stated in the past that gavins emotional age IS a lot younger. With that I know with my son he would probably do the same thing…..and that food he wanted to throw out….well I would eat it.


You make a good point. I am tired and frustrated. However, I ask that you remember that there is WAY more to Gavin than just aspergers. Gavin has some very serious, deep rooted mental health problems. These are what cause the majority of our problems. The aspergers certainly doesn\’t make things any easier but most of these problems are attached to these mental health issues.

I want to thank you for being so diplomatic and not assuming anything. I really do appreciate it. 🙂


I appreciate what you are saying but you don\’t know Gavin. He is very capable of those kinds of thoughts. There is long documented history of it.

Believe me, I hate the idea more than you do. However, if we as his parents aren\’t honest about things, how can we help him?

You have to accept that Gavin is NOT your typical child. Yes he has aspergers but most of our struggles stem from his many other serious mental health issues like, schizoaffective disorder, ODD and possibly attachment disorder. His biological father is a sociopath and Gavin has been showing signs of sociopathy for years.

Gavin he is very capable of things that you can\’t even imagine. We\’re working very hard to help him in whatever way we can.

So yes, I\’ve thought of that. Unfortunately, we don\’t have the luxury of Gavin that is capable of those complex evil thoughts.

I appreciate your question though because I\’m sure your not the only person wondering that.


Rob, major hugs to both you and Lizzie! Even though it can be hard right now, you and Lizzie are great parents, just remember that. 🙂 Thinking of you both right now, here if you need me.
My recent post Dreams really do come true! Different… Not Less, We Need Acceptance, not just awareness!