“Nothing you can do, scares me”

      20 Comments on “Nothing you can do, scares me”


Gavin informed us today that nothing we can do,  scares him. He also told us that the reason he listened while he was in the psychiatric unit was because,  “I was afraid they would call security”.

I’m not sure if this scares me or just creeps me out. Perhaps a little of both.

I don‘t know how to address this. Clearly this means that the consequences we currently employ are not harsh enough to discourage his negative behavior. I don‘t know what else to think.

It almost feels like a challenge.. 



**Thanks for reading**

       -Lost and Tired

Please join our Autism Help Forum



Look for “Autism Help” app at the Google Play Store

MyFreeCopyright.com Registered & Protected

This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung’s Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct is working against me.

Read This  #Autism, #Depression and Medication: Pudding Success

Take a second and answer the poll

Do you struggle to juggle everyday life and being an Autism Parent?

Facebook Profile photo

About Rob Gorski

Father to 3 with Autism and husband to my best friend. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)

  

20
Leave a Reply (Login to the site or comment as a guest)

Please Login to comment
avatar
14 Comment threads
6 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
14 Comment authors
jack ryanorGabbyBridgetaimeeLost_and_Tired Recent comment authors

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
Michele Chaney on Fa
Guest

Sounds like he issued a challenge to me…time to escalate?

Rob Gorski
Admin

I agree but the problem is where do we escalate to?

DAnielle
Guest
DAnielle

I think on top of Autism, you have a teenager emerging on your hands. I'm not saying thats an excuse, but a teenager is a whole other animal autism or not.

chrisrcrane
Guest
chrisrcrane

Continue to document all meltdowns ,and yes,what Gavin said is a challenge,find out legally what holds ,restraints,punishments are allowed and when you should call the police,the challenges will excalate if not met,praying for a long term solution for all of you ,that the doctors will figure out what is medically and mentally is the problem with Gavin ,and hoping you both know that you have tried everything and been the best parents to all of your boys,and what your seeking out for Gavin is for his best not punishment or abandonment .Thoughts and prayers go with,Gloria

jol
Guest
jol

Tell him that you have security too…..only it's called the P-O-L-I-C-E!!

Rob Gorski
Admin

Very, very good point! We are going to do just that.

Kim Williams on Facebook
Guest

Let him know that you’re not doing anything to TRY to scare him, so it’s fine that he’s not scared. Then absolutely make sure your local police are aware of the situation and what they might be dealing with if you call them for assistance. Find out what they can/will do to assist. Make sure Gavin is aware that you have already spoken with the police and that you guys are only doing what you’re doing at home (with all the locks etc) to try to reduce conflict and keep belongings safe. Also make sure he knows that you and… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

Nicely said Kim. Your right and we have the book you are talking about. 🙂

Jodi P
Guest
Jodi P

The statement is a little 'odd' but then again 'typical 12 year olds' will say things similar to that as well. I think he is trying to up the anti so to speak as he knows you have at home. Often when a new behaviour program or rules are put in place there is a need to 'push the limits' or 'up the anti' to test it out the individual just is testing out the new rules. I would say that you do not want to 'scare him' as you are his parent and you want to keep him safe,… Read more »

Rob Gorski
Admin

I totally agree. My guess is that he is trying to say that our consequences don\’t bother him.

We haven\’t reacted to his statement but have filed it away in the \”keep a watchful eye on\” category.

jodi p
Guest
jodi p

i know i mentioned this before have you spoke with the therapist (i think its dr pattie that deals wit this) of having a way for him to safely let out his frustrations. i'm not sure what the best idea of this is, as i said befoer where i work one guy will go in his room, at his own choice and yell out stuff, he yells all kinds of things vulgar languate things he is going to do to hurt people, etc. but we don't adress that as it is in his room and they are just what he… Read more »

Julia
Guest

So if Gavin was intimidated enough by security at the hospital, I think he needs to meet your policeman friend. Introduce him to Gavin as your ‘family security’ in uniform of course. Put him on speed dial and show Gavin this too. Just try not to use it as an empty threat..

Rob Gorski
Admin

That\’s the plan. The next time he stops by I\’m gonna speak with him about this. I would think it could send a very powerful message. 🙂

chloe
Guest
chloe

What if you try a positive approach? (tokens) etc?
My recent post Dreams really do come true! Different… Not Less, We Need Acceptance, not just awareness!

CaseManagerD
Guest

You're being baited to do something. I would suggest not reacting to it, but that's very hard to do. If he brings it up again, you can either say "Okay" and provide no other response or emotional reaction, or say "We're not trying to scare you. You don't behave/follow the rules because you're afraid of the negative consequences. You do it because it makes yourself and other people happy, you have more time to do fun stuff, you can earn things, etc." (whatever else you can think of that fits your situation). This is a good insight into his mindset… Read more »

jack ryanor
Guest
jack ryanor

From reading your posts, I know that you are against spankings and physical discipline, but at what point do you decide enough is enough, and take back control? Gavin is a predator. Plain and simple, if given the opportunity, he will prey on the weak and fearful. You have your whole family locking themselves into a bedroom because of his threats, for g*d sakes. How is this fair to your other children?!? Now he’s telling you that nothing you can do scares him? Guess what…he’ll quickly realize that the cops don’t scare him either when he sees that all they… Read more »

aimee
Guest
aimee

If that’s not throwing down the gauntlet, I don’t know what is.

dotdash
Member
dotdash

I am shocked by the calls for escalation, the take-up-the-challenge-and-bring-more-force advice you are getting. When a child says "nothing you do scares me", I think what that means is "I am scared". Please, at least consider this. He is a small kid and you are two big people whom he depends on and you guys punish him for things he may not be able to control fully. Listen to your heart. Gavin is a child who is suffering. (You may be suffering, too, but he is suffering for sure.) And you guys are all he has in the world. And… Read more »

Gabby
Guest
Gabby

I think once aspect of this that you haven’t experienced yet is being a teenager. As much as mentally he isn’t that age, some of what Gavin is doing is very typical teenage behavior. I was a neuro typical child and definitely said that to my parents as I was storming upstairs stomping as hard as I could and slamming all the doors in between.

jack ryanor
Guest
jack ryanor

Bridget- While I certainly can see logic in your argument for compassion, I think gavin’s behavior has pushed the L&T household beyond touchy feeley discipline that has proven thus far to be ineffective. The entire family is sleeping together in a locked room. They have to store items that are potrntial weapons under lock and key. What kind of message does this send to the little brothers? How empowered do you think this makes Gavin feel now? When your 13 year old makes you fear for your family’s safety and he tells you that nothing you can do scares him,… Read more »