The domino effect

I want to talk about something I called the domino effect. The domino effect is what I have begun referring to the fall out of some of Gavin’s behavioral choices. 

Gavin is not responsible for all the challenges that the Lost and Tired family faces.  I want to make that very clear.

Having said that,  I want to give you an example of what I mean by domino affect.

When I was driving the boys home last night, after Lizze’s parents met me at the hospital, Emmett became very upset. He was very distressed by the fact that Mommy was still at the hospital. 

He told me,  if we leave her here,  the doctor will hurt her and turn her into a monster. Emmett’s 4 years old.

He had a hard time falling asleep because he was so worried.  I couldn’t figure out where this was coming from. Then I remembered something from earlier this summer. 

Gavin’s last hospital admission had him being treated for an autonomic crisis. The morning he was released from the hospital,  I dropped the boys off at my parents and went to pick him up. He was in an unpleasant mood because he hadn’t gotten his way, prior to being discharged. 

We stopped at my parents to retrieve the two E’s before returning home.  When the boys got into the car,  Gavin began telling them that while he was in the hospital, the doctors and nurses tortured him and stuck needles all over his body.  We told him to stop talking but he continued telling the boys this.

Emmett and Elliott were pretty freaked out by this and understandably so. 

I don’t know for sure,  if that is why Emmett was so afraid to leave Lizze at the hospital but he never had a problem with it before.

The poor little guy was really worried and had the hardest time falling asleep. 

Gavin has a long history of doing things like that to his brothers. Last year he told Elliott that giant bats were going to come in the middle of the night and such out all of his blood. I spent the next several weeks, on the couch every night with Elliott because he was to affraid to sleep in his room.

I don’t know why he says things like this to his brothers.  I don’t know if it’s just a brain/mouth filter thing,  or if there is a darker motivation. 

All I know is that his comments have a very real impact on his little brothers. 

This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung’s Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct hate me.

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rmagliozzi

What about when this happens again (Gavin scaring one of the E's), making him stay up and try to get his brother's back to sleep alongside you? You can make him do most of the work. Then he can see the damage he is doing to them, and realize maybe how had it is to get those scary thoughts out of their heads. The only problem is if he keeps talking about scary stuff while trying to get them to go to sleep. That would undo the whole thing.

PurpleLogicRules

Brothers have been doing this for a long time. Every family that has several boys can tell you that the older ones loves to terrorize the younger ones in some way. My 1st husband's older brothers used to put a sheet on a broom and raise it to his bedroom window outside and make ghostly/ghoulish noises as he was going to sleep for the night. . That said, the approach might be to allow the E's to visit someone in the Hospital next time and remind them how they have been treated by doctors, nurses and other hospital staff. Also for nightmare abatement try having him draw / color his nightmare and then DESTROY it…either by tearing the paper in little bits or if by an open fire,  like a campfire or winter fireplace, burning it.

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