I touched on this a little bit yesterday. I think that, in general, special needs parents, myself included, carry around a great deal of guilt.
More often than not, the guilt is not warranted. That doesn’t make it any easier to cope with though.
I carry around so much guilt for things that I know I had no control over. Rationally, I understand that but it doesn’t make the guilt go away.
I’ll give you an example.
I hear all the time from people how I’m doing such an amazing job and what a wonderful father I am. However, the truth is that I don’t see that.
I tend to focus more on what I do wrong instead of what I do right. I compare my short comings to other people’s strengths. Guess what. I lose everything single time.
I would guess that I’m not the only one out there that does this.
I was thinking that we could all share what we feel guilty about. Perhaps we can learn something and maybe, just maybe, learn to move past some of this guilt. Maybe we can gain some perspective by listening to each others reasons for feeling guilty.
I’ll go first.
I feel guilty because……..I can’t take away my wife’s constant pain.
I feel guilty because………we have decided that it’s best that we send away one of our children for residential placement. Even though it’s the right thing to do, I feel like a complete failure and that I have let him down.
I feel guilty because………it took so long for me to come to terms with having to send Gavin to residential treatment. In that time, my wife and our other kids have paid a very high price.
I feel guilty because……….I haven’t moved my family out of this neighborhood yet. No one feels safe here, including myself.
I could go on and on.
I imagine that some of you are sitting there thinking that I have nothing to feel guilty about. Am I right?
Logically I understand that, however, as a parent and husband, I don’t always think logically. Sometimes I expect myself to work miracles and when I can’t, we’ll….I can’t forgive myself.
Having said that, I am asking you to bare your soul a little bit and answer the following question.
I feel guilty because……..
This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsungs Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct hate me.
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