Into the chaos

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Elliott hasn’t been back a full day yet and is already incredibly anxious.  He endured Gavin’s tantrum this morning and has been in edge ever since. 

I absolutely hate that our home life is in shambles.

The only thing that we can do is cracked down on the problematic behavior that is contributing to most of the stress.

However,  that is a lose lose situation.  If we cracked down on the behavior,  we will be increasing the number of tantrums,  which in turn adds to the stress. If we don’t,  than the behaviors that are not addressed will add to the stress anyway.

We have to make a major push for medical stabilization.  At this point,  I don’t know that medically speaking,  Gavin would be at any increased risk in an inpatient treatment facility.

If anything, I would think he might do better.  They would be working to address the behaviors that are likely contributing the autonomic crises.  The tantrums seem to really throw his system for a loop and it makes sense that they would.

This is one of those situations where I am completely at a loss as to what to do.

On one hand, no one wants Gavin placed in a situation that could be hazardous to visit health.  However,  there are a greater number of people suffering as we speak.  There is nothing to say that we will ever get a diagnosis for the autonomic stuff. There is a very real chance that no one will be able to really nail it down.  Also,  even if it is identified,  there’s nothing to say it can actually be treated. 

Maybe school will help a little bit.  It will at least give all the boys a chance to be away from each other and give us a break.

I just know that watching Elliott go from happy and being a kid to hiding under a blanket with Emmett because of the tantrums, is something I have to put a stop to.

This was posted via WordPress for Android, courtesy of Samsung’s Galaxy S III. Please forgive any typos. I do know how to spell but auto-correct hate me.

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Rob Gorski

Full time, work from home single Dad to my 3 amazing boys. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)
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Soooo much like what I went through last year with my youngest girl.  Her behaviors were consuming all of my energy and turning the household on its ear.  There are times when steps must be taken for the greater good. Gavin's well being takes 2nd place to the family's needs.  He will not be mis-served by going into residential treatment–it will give him more attention than you can at the present time.  My younger girl has become calmer because she is not allowed destructive behaviors which were unpreventable at home.  24 hour staff, constant monitoring to prevents SIBs (self-injurious behaviors), food access controlled at all times, medical care instantly available.  All of these inducements outweigh the all the guilt a parent feels and the pain of separation the family feels.  For myself, I have seen my child bloom in her new environment.  She has developed new skills and social graces that she had no hope of having while she was such a whirling dervish at home.  She could not get past previous problems at school in such a small setting as we live in.  She has been able to make friends (which she didn't have at her old school) and explore new talents long hidden.  Embrace the need and give him the gift of peace, as he will be in a place where no one reacts to his behaviors with more than a steady calmness.
Prayers from Virginia–


 @Batty Thank you very much 🙂

Jodi p

Is there any way to have just one day a week that Elliot goes to a his grandparents just to have a day a week rest
Not much but something he can look at as some one on one time
Or one night he stays home
Other boys go away to grandparents

Maybe that's alot on the grandparents
But just thinking.


 @Jodi p We attempt to do that all the time. Usually on the weekends. 

Mary Franzen Costell

I've had some of these thoughts about Gavin lately too. I would think an environment that can help with the behaviors would reduce the tantrums which would reduce his internal tress and therefore help his body. It makes sense and makes me feel so smart sitting here in my armchair. How to turn that into reality is your problem. I have had no words of comfort for your posts lately, and for that I'm sorry. I'm listening though, always here.


@Mary Franzen Costello hey, I can use all the moral support I can get. 🙂